Lesbian Female / 53
This isn't about weird sex or anything.
My younger sister wanted to get married. She was 21, and I was 23. To everyone around me it was the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me, to have my sister married and not me. My father told my sister she did not have permission. A man was found, he is a dentist, who had a wife who did not have children. I was dressed, taken to the magistrate, and given papers to sign . The man also signed papers. The wife also signed papers. I was told my sister could get married when I showed that I was pregnant.
The papers were for me to be married and the wife to be divorced. She stayed in the home and every night she insisted that I give myself to sex. After I was pregnant she went back to his side and my sister was allowed to get married. She told me that I was there for one thing, to be pregnant and have children and after I had children I was going to be divorced and she was going to marry him again. I had two children, a boy and a girl. My husband chose not to divorce me, BUT his first wife stayed with us in the home. He took to having me more than her, and she became like the old mother in law in my house.
I was 43, and my husband came to me and asked me if I would allow him to have another woman. She was a nurse, young and unmarried, and she came from another village along with her parents. She was very nice, he said, and he wanted to have children with her, that she was a woman who wanted to have many children.
I told him that was his affair, if he was asking me for a divorce. He said no, me he wanted for a wife. He was tired of the conflict between me and his first wife. Because I had come into the marriage so suddenly I had only had two children, and they were already almost adults, and he wanted this girl to have many children for him, he wanted to be surrounded by children, this had always been his dream.
He brought the girl to me and asked me to spend time with her and like her. That I would see in a short time that she was a good girl, and I would cherish her. I never disliked her, after a short time, I agreed, and she came into our home and she had many children. She was taken to having children and she was a good mother and she was kind and of an easy manner. My time beside my husband came to an end, the house was full of children, and she took more and more the role of being the wife to my husband on a daily basis. My husband's first wife was returned to her village with a good pension from my husband. It was a burden removed, her absence filled me with joy.
My confession is this, I never wanted to lie beside a man. Not once. I did not run away because of my younger sister. I disliked tremendously my husband's first wife. Living with her was punishment. I had my second child to punish her, to show her that she had not been able to be his wife. After my second child she took to living on her side of the house. I knew my husband wanted many children but I could not do that, there was no force in me that would allow that again. I lay beside him, he had his way, but I had secretly had myself sterilized with my second child.
This woman I cherish as he asked me to. I cherish every day with her. She has made my husband happy and she has brought a new life into me. She is kind to me, and she is affectionate and loving with me. I am well read, and I am very aware of what she is to me, I am careful not overstep my love for her, very careful, because I would want nothing more than to hold her forever and shower upon her the love I have for her. My nights are lonely, I can hear her next to my husband and I long for her to be with me. It is dangerous and at times I have difficulty controlling my feelings.
My life with my husband started with a burden so great I wished death, and I did what I did for my sister's happiness. For 20 years I put up with that woman. Had my husband not given me my place as his wife, I would have preferred death. To lie beside him was to keep her from lying beside him. The more she hurt the better I felt. I am glad he sent her away. These 20 years, with his new love, has brought me joy and happiness as I grow older, her children to me are like grandchildren. I was not able to love my own like I love these, I know that my children's days with me were cold and unloving. I never felt they were mine. Everyone of her children I feel are mine, as if through her I was able to give birth to my husband's children. It is unfair how love is given, I suffered until I found this woman who I can love and cherish and share my days with. I have come to accept my husband as my husband, his hand no longer bothers me, or his words, or his kiss. It is many years since I have laid beside him, but I know he is happy with her, she has love in her for a man, something I never had. I have love in me for her.
I will identify myself here, secretly, for what I have always known is what I am. I was borne to love another woman, in my time and even now, in our lives this is not something one talks about. My earliest desires were to hold my best friend, two young girls being friends, but as young women this was not allowed. I suffered greatly, for many years, before I found a woman I could love.
My younger sister wanted to get married. She was 21, and I was 23. To everyone around me it was the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me, to have my sister married and not me. My father told my sister she did not have permission. A man was found, he is a dentist, who had a wife who did not have children. I was dressed, taken to the magistrate, and given papers to sign . The man also signed papers. The wife also signed papers. I was told my sister could get married when I showed that I was pregnant.
The papers were for me to be married and the wife to be divorced. She stayed in the home and every night she insisted that I give myself to sex. After I was pregnant she went back to his side and my sister was allowed to get married. She told me that I was there for one thing, to be pregnant and have children and after I had children I was going to be divorced and she was going to marry him again. I had two children, a boy and a girl. My husband chose not to divorce me, BUT his first wife stayed with us in the home. He took to having me more than her, and she became like the old mother in law in my house.
I was 43, and my husband came to me and asked me if I would allow him to have another woman. She was a nurse, young and unmarried, and she came from another village along with her parents. She was very nice, he said, and he wanted to have children with her, that she was a woman who wanted to have many children.
I told him that was his affair, if he was asking me for a divorce. He said no, me he wanted for a wife. He was tired of the conflict between me and his first wife. Because I had come into the marriage so suddenly I had only had two children, and they were already almost adults, and he wanted this girl to have many children for him, he wanted to be surrounded by children, this had always been his dream.
He brought the girl to me and asked me to spend time with her and like her. That I would see in a short time that she was a good girl, and I would cherish her. I never disliked her, after a short time, I agreed, and she came into our home and she had many children. She was taken to having children and she was a good mother and she was kind and of an easy manner. My time beside my husband came to an end, the house was full of children, and she took more and more the role of being the wife to my husband on a daily basis. My husband's first wife was returned to her village with a good pension from my husband. It was a burden removed, her absence filled me with joy.
My confession is this, I never wanted to lie beside a man. Not once. I did not run away because of my younger sister. I disliked tremendously my husband's first wife. Living with her was punishment. I had my second child to punish her, to show her that she had not been able to be his wife. After my second child she took to living on her side of the house. I knew my husband wanted many children but I could not do that, there was no force in me that would allow that again. I lay beside him, he had his way, but I had secretly had myself sterilized with my second child.
This woman I cherish as he asked me to. I cherish every day with her. She has made my husband happy and she has brought a new life into me. She is kind to me, and she is affectionate and loving with me. I am well read, and I am very aware of what she is to me, I am careful not overstep my love for her, very careful, because I would want nothing more than to hold her forever and shower upon her the love I have for her. My nights are lonely, I can hear her next to my husband and I long for her to be with me. It is dangerous and at times I have difficulty controlling my feelings.
My life with my husband started with a burden so great I wished death, and I did what I did for my sister's happiness. For 20 years I put up with that woman. Had my husband not given me my place as his wife, I would have preferred death. To lie beside him was to keep her from lying beside him. The more she hurt the better I felt. I am glad he sent her away. These 20 years, with his new love, has brought me joy and happiness as I grow older, her children to me are like grandchildren. I was not able to love my own like I love these, I know that my children's days with me were cold and unloving. I never felt they were mine. Everyone of her children I feel are mine, as if through her I was able to give birth to my husband's children. It is unfair how love is given, I suffered until I found this woman who I can love and cherish and share my days with. I have come to accept my husband as my husband, his hand no longer bothers me, or his words, or his kiss. It is many years since I have laid beside him, but I know he is happy with her, she has love in her for a man, something I never had. I have love in me for her.
I will identify myself here, secretly, for what I have always known is what I am. I was borne to love another woman, in my time and even now, in our lives this is not something one talks about. My earliest desires were to hold my best friend, two young girls being friends, but as young women this was not allowed. I suffered greatly, for many years, before I found a woman I could love.
