I have been cursed with Agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving my house, for over five years. I force myself sometimes to go to a store but by the time I get home I'm a hersterical wreck. It is also the main reason my husband left me. The medication I took never helped and needless to say my sex life was non existant except for masturbation. Although my husband left me he was generous with our devorce letting me keep the house and substancial funds. With that and my SS disability check I do live comfortabley. I have people who grocery shop for me, fix things around the house and landscape etc. I still have a couple friends who visit me a couple times a week but think they think I am just crazy. I am constantly on facebook and twitter so its well know by neighbors and friends how severe my condition was and is. In February of 2016 I receved an email from Christian M-------- who suposedly knew my husband and knew a lot about him and me. He said he was a DO and worked in a Medical Clinic that was simpathetic to victums of Agoraphobia. He went on to say that should I need any medical attention his clinic would provide a doctor to make house calls. He said he was familiar with my condition and left a list of things I should consider doing which I had already known about for a long time. Things I tried which never did any good. I had a doctor who I have been going to for ten years but unfortunately his office is about 15 miles away. It was a nightmare just going to the doctor and the drive alone petrified me even if one of my friends took me. It was April 4, 2016 when I didn't feel well with cramps and instead of calling my doctor I called Dr. Christian. He answered the call saying "Valley Medical Clinic" and I told him who I was. The next day he came to my house and I admit I was impressed by him. He was in his Fifties, well dressed, reletively handsome but bald. He was very soft spoken and began asking my medical history and then asked the last time I saw a doctor. I couldn't remember but said I think a year or so. He first just said I should have a full physical exam and asked if I wanted him to give me one today. I had just met this man and think I was blushing asking him if it was necessary. Then he said I could wait but go to my regular doctor as soon as possible. The fear of going out took over and thats when I considered letting him examine me. He said it was up to me and that he would do it today but needed my insurance information. He also said there is no copayments involved. I agreed to let him do the exam and all he said was to undress and put on a bathrobe then asked if I had a recliner chair, which I did.

Once in my bedroom I began thinking if I should do this but decided I would. When I went back to the living room in my bathrobe he had pulled one of my dining room chairs to the foot of the recliner. On the floor was a large medical bag which he got from his car. He had me sit in the recliner and first only did the normal things like taking my temprature, looking at my throat and into my ears. Then he asked the last time I had a breast exam and all I could say was over a year ago. For some reason I wasn't intimadated by him and when he asked me to open my robe I did so without hesitation. As he examined my breasts he instructed me how to do a self exam which I knew how to do but just let him do the talking. I was slighly embarrassed thinking at the time that my x husband was the last man who saw and touched my breasts almost 4 years ago. As I sat there he reached into the bag and put a speculum in a plastic bag on the table next to my recliner. All he said then was to lay back and put my feet on the foot rest. Horror took over then when he began putting on latex gloves and telling me to scoot down and bend up my knees. I regreted then telling him I had ovarian cancer when I was 28 and unable to bear children. I was all the way back on the recliner with my knees up and legs wide open to him. I felt him put a lubicant on my vulva and penetrate me feeling around with his fingers. Then I became extreemly embarrassed, not because I was exposed to him but the fact I was getting aroused and feeling myself getting wet. The feeling subsided when he stopped and the next thing I knew he was inserting the speculum in me. It didn't hurt but did stop the feeling of arousal. He talked to me while doing all this mentioning the surgery I had years ago. Thinking he was finished I attempted to sit up when he told me to lay back again. Without saying anything he gave me a rectal exam putting lubricant on my anus first. Finally done he had me sit up asking me how my menstral cicle was and recommending I have him back the following month. We set a date and approximate time for the next month. He came back the first week in May and this time it became humiliating because of my reaction to the exam. It started the same way only this time when he first penitrated my vagina I was instantly and obviously aroused. Then the questioning began.

He first asked me if I was aroused and I admiited I was and shamefully admitted I had an orgasm as he was penetrating me. First he assured me it was alright then said he noticed how my nipples hardened when he examined my breasts. Then he began asking me about my sex life and if I masturbated, which only made it more embarrassing. I just opened up telling him everything he asked me. As we talked I still layed there fully exposed to him. He asked then if I wanted him to finish the exam and I only shook my head. I layed my head back down and he again penetrated me with his fingers and once more I became aroused which I'm sure he was well aware of. Instead of stopping he only asked if I was aroused again and told me it was ok if I climaxed. I was so aroused I orgasmed back to back feeling like he was masturbating me. I then questioned him asking him if he intentionally helped me orgasm. He said he had no control over my sexual experience but that with my background it is exceptable to react the way I do. Before he left that day he asked if I wanted him back the next month and without hesitation I said ok. From April of 2016 to July of 2017 he has examined me every month except for two months last winter. He always began the same way and I became comfortable with him letting him not only having me exposed to the fullest extent but succumbing to his touch. Buy last fall I was having multible orgasms each time. He was litterly masturbating me and I allowed him to not only feel me up every time but the last few months he began penitrating me rectally as he was masturbating me. The day after he came in July my friend Marsha came for dinner. I had never told anyone about Dr. Christian but started telling Marsha about it. I suppose I had suspicions before but looked forward to his visits every month. Marsha couldn't believe the things I told her and thats when the two of us decided to check out this doctor. There is no listing of him in my town or in my state. That clinic doesn't exist and then I remembered every time I called that number it was him who answered. I got Marsha to call the number and it was him who answered when Marsha began asking him questions about me and the clinic. He ended up hanging up on her which now I really had questions. Then I remeber him telling me he knew my husband. My last resort was to call my x husband who I hadn't spoken to in about 3 years. I asked him if he knew Christian and my x said he never heard of him. Then I called the clinic number and spoke to Christian and started asking questions about his address and where he is located. Then I asked if he was coming in August and he said he had to cancel then hung up. For weeks I tried finding him but his phone is no longer active. I remember now on several occassions noticing he had two cell phones one a flip phone. As it is now I don't know who he is and don't know if he is a doctor which I question. Marsha believes he is some pervert who took advantage of me yet never tried having sex with me. It took about 5 months but this guy had me fully relaxed with him. Buy last fall I thought nothing of laying there with my bathrobe fully open exposed to him as he explored my body. He didn't always use the speculum but always penetrated my rectum along with masturbating me. Was I that dumb not to check him out before this all began. The most degrading thing about it now is that I openly reacted to my orgasms in front of him. There were times I remember apoligizing to him for the sounds I made or the way I thurst my pelvis as he penetrated me. I keep trying to locate him but so far there are no signs of him or the name he gave me. Marsha took the time to look for any doctors in the US with his name and there are none. With the medical bag he always had I never thought to question him which I should have. I have to acknowledge that I let it continue and in a way never wanted to think he was a preditor. This week Marsha gave his name to a policeman she knows but even he couldn't find anything about him.