i sincerely miss my days as a child doing uneven gym bars and long jump and pole dancing among other things. the feeling on your back is so fucking great on uneven bars to loop around, it eases all pain. dangling upside down on the bars my your back knees and scooping around in loops and flipping is a great feeling, it helped any joint pressure a lot. I miss it so bad. I just want to do it again and better. I sorta miss music lessons and singing choir church music and I miss hanging out with bands in way but I can't drink anymore. I miss driving and at least I completed law and med units but want to do more and more. its the only thing that comes me at night to study and write out my notes in bed seeing I get no sex and have no man. I take pills that are addictive and I feel no shame over them. in fact they are all I have. I get distressed without them or due to get new packs because the fear of running out of them panics me. I want to be strong again.