This is only the first time I went public with getting Raped by a stranger.

I was only a 15 year old boy when I was r**ed by a black guy at the corner store.
I had walked to the store late night while my mom was sleeping to see if someone could buy me cigarettes and thats when I ran into this guy.

He offered me a smoke and as quickly as I lit the cigarette he had held me up with a straight razor to my throat and had me backed up against the fence so I couldn't run. He told me that he was going to kill me by slitting my throat and throw my body into the dumpster and nobody would be able to find my body.

I remember looking into this guys yellow eyes and thinking " This guy is obviously crazy " and by looking at him you could tell the lights were on but nobody was home. Then he released the razor from my neck and told me that he was just kidding and offered me a cigarette to go home with so I had two.

I took the cigarette, and he seemed normal again and didn't seem violent but then snapped again and held me up.
He searched my body and took everything I had including my cell phone and I knife I had for protection. I had no chance to even grab my knife this happened so fast. After taking my things he took the knife back off my throat and let me down.


He then looked at my butterfly knife and reached into his pocket and pulled out a lot of crack cocaine and thats when I realized he was a crack dealer.
He asked me if I knew what it was and at the time I didn't. He told me what it was and told me the razor he used was how he cuts his crack up. He urged me to smoke follow him into the dark ally that sit behind the corner store to smoke some of his crack cocaine and I ended up hesitating and that's when he held me up again but with my own knife.

He began putting his hands into my pants and grabbing me by my penis and rolling it in his hand and feeling me.
He ran his hands down my body, between my legs and under my shirt. I was terrified and had no idea what would happen next but as silent as silent could be. He then asked me " Do you like to suck Di*k? " I told him " No, I don;t do that. no " He asked me over and over if I would " Suck his c*ck" and got angrier every time.


Then it happened, he shoved me against the fence with so much force that my head hit the steel post and bounced off hard. He reached around and undid my jeans and pushed them to my ankles, I remember looking down at my feet and seeing my jeans sitting by my feet and hearing him undoing his pants, he still had a knife to my kidney at this point against the fence so I couldn't run, even if I wanted to I had noticed he had a gun with him on his waist when he held me up the first time.

I felt something go in between by cheeks, it was such a violating feeling.
I knew it was his hand and he ran his fingers over my butthole and thats when
I knew what was going to happen. I just was not believing it was happening to me, how could this be happening to me?
I felt him push into and against me and felt his penis push into me. He was trying to spread me apart with one hand while holding his knife and then a really painful stinging sensation ran through my lower half with a tremendous amount of pressure, all of this pain but I didn't cry until he started r****g me.


It lasted for what seemed like an hour, but probably was 10 minutes of hell.
After he was done with me, he pulled out of me and ran into the ally, I stumbled and pulled my jeans up and ran into the store screaming for help after locking the stores front doors. The shop attendant told me I was " Lucky " because the guy in the store was an undercover cop.


He put me into his car after showing me his badge and decided to drive down the ally my rapist ran down after doing it. I didn't want to go down the ally at all, I told him not to so he took me home. I went home, went into my bed and just cried. I told no one but my psychologist because I felt that I was being forced to some how, but never went into detail. My mom doesn't believe me because she wasn't awake, or maybe she does but doesn't want to accept the fact that she should have watched over me better.


The messed up part of everything is still, to this day I for whatever reason sexually fantasize and pleasure myself while thinking about the r**e. I don;t think its sexy in anyway, the messed up part is that I do fantasize about being r**ed and I do not know why.


I was screened by the doctor though and didn't catch any STD From the guy.