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My Family
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Straight Female / 26
OK, I was born when my mom was 16, barely. She got pregnant at 15. Up until I was around 10 I never focused on it. Around then I realized my dad was 20 years older than her, I realized this because some relatives made the observation for his 45th birthday.
When I was in the ninth grade it dawned on me that everyone of the girls in my class could be my mom. My mom was barely 30 and I was 15, all the other moms were 45? Older? My mom turned 30.
Why I started to masturbate so much I don't know, but I did. Anything to fill me up, bottles? I stopped that one day when it got weird. Hair brush, plastic spoons, anything that was long enough, I wanted depth, my fingers were just not long enough. My mother found these objects between my mattress and box springs. I got this long talk, I asked her why she had sex when she was 15 and she said it just happened. I guess she felt she needed to go down this path, but she wanted to make sure that I wasn't planned, but I was always wanted. From the day she knew she was pregnant she wanted me and all discussions about adoption, or worse, went out the door. Boy she hugged me that day.
But, she also took me down to this adult store. I was with my mom so they let me in. We went shopping for a 'toy'. She bought me a realistic looking penis toy, as realistic as she could find. She told me that a 'friend in need, is a friend indeed'. We talked a lot about sex. And about how a man wants sex. And what you have to do so that he feels like he had sex. Most of it was to please him, because really what I was going to want was the closeness, the feeling of being held during sex, the penetration was going to be secondary. And that was the problem with masturbation. No feeling of being held.
Over the next weeks we talked about being pregnant as a teen. About school, things had changed, but really when you are a teen girl and you are pregnant, the other mother's don't want their daughters speaking to you. She only had one friend whose mother allowed her to remain friends (this woman is still my mom's best friend). And then the baby, the baby is a huge responsibility, and as the mom, the baby is your responsibility. The word was responsibility.
I got pregnant at 16. I tell myself I needed the closeness. I just needed to feel the closeness. The truth is that I wanted to get pregnant so bad, it hurt inside. I wanted a baby. It wasn't an accident. It wasn't planned, by him. And definitely not unwanted. This mom wanted a baby. I am only sorry about the dad, he has had a hard time. I don't ask for child support, I don't think it is fair, and my dad can afford me without any problem.
When the baby was here, and my mom was helping me nurse, she asked me how I felt. I told her I felt so good, holding my baby, taking care of my baby. She told me she never felt bad either, a mom with a baby just feels good.
My baby is now ten, and she is everyone's angel girl. She is a natural. And if she chooses to bring a baby home at 16, we will just all love that baby more. We are not telling her it is the thing to do, but we do not tell her not to do it. Girls in our family are just naturally given to having babies.
When I was in the ninth grade it dawned on me that everyone of the girls in my class could be my mom. My mom was barely 30 and I was 15, all the other moms were 45? Older? My mom turned 30.
Why I started to masturbate so much I don't know, but I did. Anything to fill me up, bottles? I stopped that one day when it got weird. Hair brush, plastic spoons, anything that was long enough, I wanted depth, my fingers were just not long enough. My mother found these objects between my mattress and box springs. I got this long talk, I asked her why she had sex when she was 15 and she said it just happened. I guess she felt she needed to go down this path, but she wanted to make sure that I wasn't planned, but I was always wanted. From the day she knew she was pregnant she wanted me and all discussions about adoption, or worse, went out the door. Boy she hugged me that day.
But, she also took me down to this adult store. I was with my mom so they let me in. We went shopping for a 'toy'. She bought me a realistic looking penis toy, as realistic as she could find. She told me that a 'friend in need, is a friend indeed'. We talked a lot about sex. And about how a man wants sex. And what you have to do so that he feels like he had sex. Most of it was to please him, because really what I was going to want was the closeness, the feeling of being held during sex, the penetration was going to be secondary. And that was the problem with masturbation. No feeling of being held.
Over the next weeks we talked about being pregnant as a teen. About school, things had changed, but really when you are a teen girl and you are pregnant, the other mother's don't want their daughters speaking to you. She only had one friend whose mother allowed her to remain friends (this woman is still my mom's best friend). And then the baby, the baby is a huge responsibility, and as the mom, the baby is your responsibility. The word was responsibility.
I got pregnant at 16. I tell myself I needed the closeness. I just needed to feel the closeness. The truth is that I wanted to get pregnant so bad, it hurt inside. I wanted a baby. It wasn't an accident. It wasn't planned, by him. And definitely not unwanted. This mom wanted a baby. I am only sorry about the dad, he has had a hard time. I don't ask for child support, I don't think it is fair, and my dad can afford me without any problem.
When the baby was here, and my mom was helping me nurse, she asked me how I felt. I told her I felt so good, holding my baby, taking care of my baby. She told me she never felt bad either, a mom with a baby just feels good.
My baby is now ten, and she is everyone's angel girl. She is a natural. And if she chooses to bring a baby home at 16, we will just all love that baby more. We are not telling her it is the thing to do, but we do not tell her not to do it. Girls in our family are just naturally given to having babies.
