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my sisters male friend rus bullied me into going out with him and I never really liked him or fancied him at all. I went out a few times over a few years with him just for coffee or a walk and chat but it was always a platonic relationship, it was never sexual at all on my part. he was like my sisters boyfriends or husbands to me. it was never sexy being around him ever. to be honest I went out with him so he would not attack me as he verbally attacked me several times yelling at me just because I didn't want to go out with him alone when my sister was supposed to go out with him and he was out or house waiting for her and she never showed up and all she had said was "oh rus and I are going out to the movies on Thursday night if you want to come along you can?" and I was like "I will think about it, he is your friend" and I was between making up my mind and half hearted to go because it was always like there was only 1 child in our family and that was my sister, she always came first her needs, her demands, her tantrums.

I should never have given in to rus and I have learnt a lesson from it, because bit by bit he was depressing me, insulting me, demeaning me, and occasionally he was polite but as time went on he was becoming cocky and arrogant with the money he was making and I just thought "well if I go out and chat and go for a walk and coffee with him he might learn some manners and realise he can talk to girls, so we became each others sounding post about life and problems but as time went on he was putting me down so much it was unhealthy and it was advised by me from someone who was teaching me in management and admin to stop seeing him. she noticed I was upset one day and asked me what was wrong and she said "maybe its time to stop this wasted relationship then, tell him your otherwise busy" because as she pointed out to me, "he is probably seeing women on the side and its not like he has asked you to go one holiday with him when goes overseas or interstate and he never buys you any thing that says "you're special" etc.

I said 'well he did go out on my birthday and invite me to his staff Christmas party just to stop the women calling him a fatboy lazy gay" and it worked he said "they said we never thought you would have such a beautiful female friend" and they thought we were a couple so I said to him well if you want me to cover for you to get them off your back, I know your not gay anyway, let them think what they want about us" but as time went on he became more and more demanding and bullying and selfish and hypocritical and rude. yes rude. the put downs by the millions.

I then worked out it was him making me more and more depressed and I had to end the friendship and that was when he did get mean. he came around to the house one night and bashed my window and I said "its best we don't speak after what you said to hurt me, I am sick of your put downs and didn't ever work out my sister dumped on you anyway?"
like was she ever really his friend? she was a user. and she was trying to set up her usual blind date forced sex forced games on me that my sister does which is evil. I had to stop it getting out of control.

it had to end. but never once did I think of him sexual ever. It never felt right as he was not my type.

I just feel weird that I am not good at making friends. I have always been ignored.

I want to call Jory and say hi and too afraid to seeing he lives over that way. I want to call Mark but feel like I can't either. I want to call nikki and a few others and afraid to, to go out for a night out. I would love to go out with Jory so much but Mark might not like that and Mark looks so much like Rus. and Rus was a control freak and a bully.


so many times I want to call these people and say hi and have my own friends, like I used to. usually I have 1 or 2 really good friends rather then heaps of acquaintances, now its like I have acquaintances and no good friends to ask out and bit by bit rus stole those friends from me years ago and my confidence. I thought we were supposed to be helping each other out helping each other up rather then down?

I want to find some real friends that like some night life and dance and good food and beach and driving around cruising the streets and chilling out but unlike rus I am and never was a drinker or drug taker.

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