Growing up, I had incredibly low self esteem. I was mocked a lot for being fat when I was young by schoolmates, family and friends. I outgrew it in my teens but the damage was done. My self esteem was too low to even ask a girl out, so I missed out on prom and everything else.

By my mate teens, I turned to the bottle to numb myself. My peers were all dating, some of them even married with children and I remained dateless through university and well into my 20s. All my friends were sexually active where as I had never hate a date or even kissed a girl. Needless to say I was mocked for this constantly by everyone I knew, including family and colleagues. I worked in a bar and everyone was getting laid except me. It got to the point where people began to suspect I was gay. I couldn't bring myself to tell people I hated myself, so I just took their ribbing, driving my self esteem even lower. I seriously thought I would be a life long virgin

By the time I was 25, I had had enough. It was 1999 and I didn't want to go into the year 2000 still a virgin, so I hired a prostitute. She pegged me for a virgin immediately because I was so nervous. She laughed a little, but had sex with me anyway. We didn't kiss and she didn't and she didn't blow me. Like I said, I was so nervous that I couldn't cum and gave up after a few minutes. I didn't dare tell anyone and had to continue receiving ridicule from my peers for remaining dateless. It was tough to endure but I has happy that I was able to finally see my first naked woman, feel my first breast and feel the inside of a woman, albeit briefly. However, I still considered myself a virgin in a way because I had to pay for it and I didn't come.

I remained single for the next five years. I was finally able to get the odd date, but never a second date. So, by the time I was 29, I gave up and moved to Asia, hoping to re-invent myself.

Four months after arriving, at age 30 now, I got a girlfriend. She was extremely easy, stating, "I quit counting how many guys I had sex with when I was 21. I had about forty by then." She was my age.

I first time we had sex was my first I had ever received a blow job and a kiss. I put my dick in her and started pumping and about 30 seconds in she asked if this was my first time. I said yes and she pushed me off, laughing, saying, "you're the oldest virgin I have ever met! The last time I took a guy's virginity was 9 years ago!" She could tell I was deflated and said, "it's okay. A virgin will be fun for a change." I didn't come that time either, but later that night, we had sex again and I finally came. "I can't wait to tell my friend's I took a 30 year old's virginity!" she said.

We dated for four months had sex daily. I was elated to finally have this monkey off my back, but I was even happier to not feel the crushing weight of loneliness.

After we broke up, I still had trouble getting dates and would not get another girlfriend for the next six years (In the meantime, I quit drinking). However, I had developed a taste for human contact; masturbating just wasn't cutting it anymore. So, I resorted to hiring prostitutes, which are affordable in Asia. I knew it was pathetic but I knew that having a sex life I had to pay for was better than no sex life at all. And it was. I made up for lost time and loved every minute of it.

I started off slowly the first year, going to prostitutes perhaps only five times. By the third year, I was going about twice a week and it has remained that way ever since, except when I found my next girlfriend.

I stayed faithful for the first year but after that, my mind would wander back to the prostitutes. I fantasized about hookers often. Our relationship would last another two years. During this time, I went to the whorehouse about 10 times. Once, I caught her in a one night stand and looked the other way because I was also guilty.

Now, years later, I have a new girlfriend, an active prostitute. I wouldn't have it any other way.