It might feel good to confess here, so here goes. I'm an accountant with my own practice and call on small business clients. Sometimes I will do their books in their offices. At one of the companies, Jack, a young V.P. is eleven years younger than me and kept looking at me when I would come in. I was president of my class in college and headed up my sorority chapter but, alas, I am as flat chested as a pool table, wear glasses and have slight buck teeth, so I wondered what the hell he was looking at.

I had known this fellow, actually my client, for two years an finally one day having coffee with him I told him, "You know, you stare a lot and that's not good manners, is there something wrong?" He said, "I saw what most men probably missed because they are hung up on breasts. I'm not." I asked, "What did you see?" He said, "If we were married I would worship your crazy-wild ass...your ass is fabulous." My face reddened up like a large, ripe tomato imported from Israel...the fancy kind.

"I have four children at home," I said, trying to use a non-sequitur to change the subject. "Well, I know exactly how they were conceived," he whispered. The young fellow is bright and ruggedly handsome and to make a long story short, we started an affair...sort of. I come in at odd hours and have nothing on under my skirt. Our favorite position, and we do it all the time, is standing and he enters me from behind after I lift my skirt for him. He goes insane and spouts all kinds of terms of endearment, vulgarisms, expletives and plain groaning. It seems to me that it is all in his mind but he provides a lot of pluses for my otherwise boring life.

Not long ago, he started ta call and we now have phone sex when possible. He re-lives getting up me from behind in glowing prose. The bottom line, my husband said recently, "Have you changed your diet? You are smiling a lot these days." I said, "I added some good elements to it, honey-bear."