My Mom died of cancer when I was three years old. My Dad killed himself when I was ten. He looked at me, told me that I made him do it then pulled out a gun and put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. What I remember the most is the explosion of blood and brain matter that went out of the back of his head and splattered against the wall. Then his body slumping over and almost falling on me. Blood came out of his mouth but then just stopped flowing. I called 911 and it wasn't' until the cop came to the door that I totally lost it. Dad had told me that Mom chose not to get chemo so that I could be born and so he blamed me saying I murdered my mom. But he had other problems and he couldn't deal with it and so he decided to shoot himself dead in front of me to punish me for being a horrible child.

I had no family that I knew of other than my Dad. I had no siblings. My Dad was an only child. My mom had a sister but she died as a teen though I don't know what killed her. None of my grandparents were alive. I was taken to a youth shelter but forced to leave most of my belongings at home. As far as I know there was no funeral. I certainly didn't go to one and nobody told me anything about one. I was taken that night to the youth shelter which is where they also brought little criminals. It was a big building, like a school. They had kids there all ages from about four years old to twelve. They had both boys and girls. There were four dorms, two for boys and two for girls with one each for older kids 9-12 and one each for younger kids 4-8. The dorm I was taken to had about 150 beds, all steel beds with thin mattresses. Each had a plastic pillow without a pillow case, a bottom sheet and a course wool blanket. There was a steel box with a lid and loops for a padlock. I was allowed to take three pairs of panties, three pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, two bottoms and two tops and one pair of pajamas and a towel. No toys, nothing else at all. I looked around and it felt like I was in prison. At meal time we were lined up and marched to the cafeteria. We got a metal tray and food was slopped onto the tray and then we got a cup of flavored water and a milk. That first night dinner was mystery meat, mashed potatoes and string beans. We got a slice of bread and a cookie. Not the best but not the worst meal. I spent my entire time there frightened of all the other girls. I stayed by myself spending most of my time hiding under the blanket hoping the nightmare would end soon.

I stayed at the shelter for six and a half weeks then I was sent for and taken to an office. There a man who I'd seen a few times including the first night. I don't know what his job was but on the first day he said I could expect to live there until I turned 12 then I would be sent to a shelter for teens aged 13-17 and then when I turned 18 I would be released. Then I saw him a few times but he never talked to me. The only other thing he said to me that first night was "here is a list of rules, memorize and obey them." That was it. So here I was in his office and then another much older man came in and the first man told him to sit down. After some paper shuffling and consulting his computer he introduced me to the older man. It was my uncle. I didn't know I had an uncle. He explained that he had only just heard that his niece's husband, my dad, died, no mention of suicide, and he said he was my grandmother's brother. Some papers had to be signed and then I was taken to collect the few belongings I had and then I left with him.

Uncle Sam, yes that is his actual name, Samuel being his actual name but his nick name is Sam, was tall and lanky, late fifties, grey hair, wrinkles, muscular limbs with veins popping out. His face was weathered. You could tell just by looking at him that he did hard labor outdoors all his life. He had a rugged stern face but he could not quite hide the twinkle in his eye. He looked like he should smell as though he hadn't taken a bath in thirty years but he smelled like a cologne commercial. I felt safe when he took my hand.

First stop was home. My home or rather my old home. Uncle Sam took me inside and told me that we had a few hours to go through everything to determine what I wanted to take with me. He had a bunch of boxes in the car. I went to my room and picked out toys, my TV and computer and cell phone and computer games of course and my books and clothes and stuffed animals and the tea set my mom said was my grandmothers but uncle Sam said it was my great great grandmothers so it as very old. Uncle Sam got a bunch of stuff out of my father's bedroom and some stuff out of the garage and basement and attic and so on and we loaded up his car and had no room left afterwards except for Uncle Sam and me.

Next stop was at a restaurant. It was an Italian restaurant and he said I could order what I wanted to. Uncle Sam didn't smile much but he looked like he was trying not to and every once in a while a slight smile escaped it's shackles. I could tell he was a really nice person but I don't think he spent much time around kids. I ordered pizza of course but uncle Sam also ordered some other things I never heard of that he insisted I try. I'm glad he did because it was all delicious. We took desert home with us.

Next stop was Walmart. We picked up a few supplies, a new toothbrush for me and a bathing suit for me and some flip flops and towels and a cooler and beach furniture.

After a few more hours we stopped at a motel. We got one room to share. It had two queen size beds. That is when things got strange. Uncle Sam told me to sit down on my bed then he said he had to have a talk with me.

"I'm not a good man. I'm not a good person at all. In fact I am a terrible person, a monster really. You see, I never got married and never had kids because I shouldn't be around kids. Did your teachers ever warn you about really bad people who wanted to touch little girls in a bad way?"

I nodded a little scared.

"Well I'm that bad people they warn you about. You see, I like little girls, but not in a good way. I like to touch them in their private places and I can't help myself. I just love touching little girls really badly. I want to touch you. I want to stick my finger in your pussy. I want you to jerk me off. I want to fuck you and I want you to like it. I don't mean to scare you. I just want you to know what you are getting yourself into. If you live with me I'm going to sexually abuse you. I won't be able to help myself. You are just so gorgeous, so sexy. I'm sorry if I scared you but you have to know. The reason you never heard of me is because I'm a monster and nobody wants anything to do with me. So here's the deal. I'm going to give you a choice. Right now, I if you want, I will take you back to the shelter, we'll drive all night then I will take you there and tell them that I changed my mind. I will give you some clothes. I will keep your stuff for you when you get out and then you can have it when you turn 18. Or, you can stay the night and if you hate what I do to you then I can take you back tomorow. But if you either like what I do to you or at least you can tolerate it then you can stay with me for as long as ou like. But if it ever gets so bad that you want to go back to the shelter let me know and I will take you back any time. So what do you think?"

All I could think of was "how bad could it be?" I didn't say that. I was a little scared because I wasn't sure if any of the things he wanted to do to me would hurt. I had a friend Jenny who told me her uncle liked to stick his finger in my panties and rub her slit. She didn't like it but he gave her nice gifts so she decided not to tell her parents. My dad hit me a lot and abused me mentally always telling me I murdered my Mom. His last words were basically an accusation that I had murdered him. I'd have volunteered to be sexually abused by a hundred elderly fat perverts just to have my Dad alive and more importantly, love me.

So in reply to his question I got up off the bed and climbed up into his lap and put my arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips trying hard to imitate the married couples I had seen do that. We didn't open our mouths but the kiss lingered for half a minute. I felt his hand got to my ass and give it a gentle squeeze. It wasn't too bad. I felt a lump in his pants but it didn't hurt or anything so I just sat there.

"So I take it you want to stay with me?"

I nodded and we hugged and kissed some more. Then he told me to get ready for bed and I came out of the bathroom in my pajamas and saw him already climbed into bed with the lights off and the TV on. He was watching an R-rated movie on cable and it was a scene where the man and women were naked having sex I could see her breasts but nothing below he waist. They were moaning. It as very erotic. I climbed into his bed and under the sheets and snuggled up to him pushing my back and ass into him. He put his arms around me and slipped his hand into my pajama bottoms. It didn't' hurt. It didn't hurt at all. I felt all tingly all over. It actually felt kind of good. I don't remember what happened next. I fell asleep. He told me the next morning that he took off my pajama bottoms and licked me down there. I don't remember that but I did have some pleasant dreams and slept better than I had in weeks.

We drove the rest of the way to his place, my new home in a few hours. We turned onto a dirt road and drove for about half an hour until we got to a driveway and drove for another fifteen minutes through the woods. Finally we got to a clearing and it was a huge meadow and in the middle on a little hill was the most beautiful old Victorian house I had ever seen. It looked like a huge very fancy doll house. I half expected a bunch of life size dolls to greet us. He parked the car out front on a brick driveway and went up to the front door which he unlocked and let us in. He gave me what he called the nickel tour which lasted about 15 minutes briefly stopping at each room to explain what it was, most were obvious. Then we got up to the third floor.

"This is your room."

It wasn't a room. It was a loft that had been turned into a suite. At the top of the stairs was a door. We went through the door only to encounter another door. Then through that we got to a room that was obviously a very fancy Victorian parlor complete with a fire place and a silver tea service and fancy tea cups and saucers and a silver tray and dolls and stuffed animals all over the place. It was decorated to appeal to a young teenage princess slightly older than me. And that was just the first room. The next room was my bed room. It was twice as big as the parlor with a huge four poster canopy bed fit for a princess. More stuffed animals and dolls and a big doll house and a curio cabinet filled with antique china. There were fresh flowers in several vases. I looked out the window and there was a glorious view of the meadows and the woods beyond and then beyond that a lake that Uncle Sam said he owned and that I could go skinny dipping in if I wanted to. Through another door was a room lined with books from floor to ceiling. I loved reading and there was every children's book I could imagine and a lot of grown up books as well. There were two big reclining leather chairs, fancy floor lamps, sculptures of naked little boys and girls that looked very old and a Big TV. Then he showed me my closet. It was bigger than the my old bedroom. There were some clothes there but they looked old and were wrapped in plastic. Finally was my bathroom. It was also bigger than my old bedroom. There was a big clawfoot tub, an old fashioned sink, a toilet and a bidet. He had to explain what the bidet was for and the moment I heard I loved the idea. The floor was all white marble. So were the walls. There was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It was a palace. Uncle Sam told me it was all mine and he would get me some decent clothes to wear. Then he surprised me by slipping a gold pendant around my neck. He said it was my grandmother's. He told me the whole room had been custom done for my grandmother and that it was my mother's bedroom when she was growing up.

I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him. It was like a dream. I had almost forgotten the image in my mind of my Dad's brains splattered on the wall behind where his head had been.

Uncle Sam picked me up and tossed me gently on the bed. He announced that I was to show my gratitude by letting him abuse me. He said it playfully but he also meant it sincerely. I started to strip but he said I only had to remove my bottoms. I was naked from the waist down laying on the bed. He pulled up a chair and went down on me. That was the first time anyone ever ate me out. He licked me for a while then took my ass into his hands and lifted me up and licked my asshole. He licked me for a lovely eternity that was not nearly long enough. If he never stopped licking me I wouldn't have minded. I was the most wonderful experience of my while life. Right then I fell in love with uncle Sam and his wonderful tongue.

We lived together until he died two years ago. He didn't fuck me until I turned 15 and it was my idea. In fact I wanted him to fuck me when I was 12. It took 3 years for me to convince him to fuck me. I was so horny and so desperate for cock in me. He licked me to sleep every night and woke me up by licking me and it was mostly my asshole he licked. When I first arrived he told me I could play with his cock but I didn't have to unless I wanted to. When I was 11 I got really curious and just one day started undoing his pants and started playing with his erection. The next day I gave him a blow job for the first time. On his birthday I tried making myself look really grown up. I found my mom's old make-up and lip stick and spent hours making up my face and doing my nails and dressing in the sexiest clothes I could find in her old closet. Uncle Sam said I looked like a beautiful grown up princess. But then he said that the reason he liked me was that I was a cute adorable little girl and he liked cute adorable girls. He said I should dress like one. So I went back to the bathroom and changed out and wiped the make up off my face and thought about it and decided to make myself look as little as possible. I put my hair in pigtails and put on a school girl uniform and then came out again and said "Uncle Sam? I've been very naughty! I need to be punished! I need my birthday spanking, you have to spank me five times!" I was pretending to be four years old. Well that did the trick. He did everything but fuck me and I enjoyed every bit. That was the first time we tongue kissed.

Uncle Sam home schooled me so that I could be naked or scantily clad any time I wanted. After a few weeks I all but stopped wearing clothes altogether.

I absolutely loved everything Uncle Sam ever did to me. I know it was wrong and I didn't care. I wished Dad had killed himself the day after mom died so I could have grown up with Uncle Sam.