When I was going through high school I had a lot of relationship problems. I did not have a friend and spent most of my time at home. I got my driver's license at my mother's insistence so that I could help her with errands. I didn't get along with my father, he expected a lot of me, things I didn't like to do. For example, I hated fishing.

I was upset that night, I asked my mom for her car, I told her I was going over to a 'friends' house. I made up a friend and what I was going over there to do as she kept asking me questions. I did not have a friend, it was all a lie, but I got permission to use the car. I went driving around, I drove over to the school, went around and around, discovering streets, it was dark and there was not a lot of traffic.

I found my way to this park, it was dark, I couldn't read the sign of the name of the park. I saw a car hidden behind some trees, you had to be there to see it. I stopped and turned off the lights on the car and got out and went over to the car. In the car I could see two figures that were making out. I crept up and it was two men, they were making out and from time to time the driver would lean down and the passenger would throw his head back.

I got hard, and I had trouble with my erection, and hidden in the dark I took out my penis and started to masturbate while I watched them make out. The door opened, and the light came on and they got out of the car and closed the door and they went around to the front of the car and passenger lowered his pants, the older man sucked his penis and then got behind the passenger and leaning over the hood of the car he fucked him. I masturbated and came, most of it landed on my pants. Even though I had cum I kept on whipping until I got another erection. When the fucking finished, the old man stood there and the passenger guy got on his knees and sucked his penis.

I had stumbled upon a place where queers hung out. On that particular night there was only one car, but on other nights there were other cars, pickups and Cadillacs, men with ties and Mexican workers, I parked my mother's car two blocks away and would sneak up and watch and masturbate while I watched the action in the cars, and once in a while, like the first night, a cock sucking and fucking outside.

In my dreams at home, when I masturbated again, I dreamt of being fucked. I used small objects and inserted them in my butt, and masturbated with a pen in my butt, it felt good. I had a teacher then, he taught social studies and history and health. He was a balding man, he drove a Pontiac, a Pontiac I had seen at the park. He was married, but I knew I had seen the car. And one night when I was out masturbating in the park I saw the Pontiac. I saw him. He was with a Mexican janitor from school. They were making out, the janitor was leaning down and by then I knew he was sucking him off, I saw when the janitor turned around and my teacher got behind him and the distinctive moves of fucking took place.

If I wasn't masturbating in the dark in my hide out place, I was masturbating at home. I fixated myself on my teacher, I wondered what kind of penis he had, how it was going to feel when he fucked me. I knew the place he was going to fuck me. In my mind I practiced, I was going to go up to him and tell him I saw him in the park with the janitor and I wanted him to fuck me. I dreamt about it. But I never got up the nerve.

What happened was that one night, I was discovered by this man while I was masturbating. He told me had seen me many times, he liked to watch me masturbate. He wanted to know if I wanted him to suck me off. He had me sit down and lay back on the ground and he bent over me and sucked me, he held my penis in his hand and slowly sucked me and drew my semen up and he let me cum in his mouth. He told me he liked it and if I would return the favor. His penis was hard when he took it out of his pants and I was overcome by hunger and sucked him, he slowed me down, keeping my head on his penis he talked me into sucking him right and asked me to finger his ass. He used his hand to stroke himself while I sucked on him and when he came he warned me and I had semen in my mouth, face and hair.

I met him at the park, and we would watch the cars and I would suck him or he would suck me and one day he got behind me and I took it up the ass the for the first time. I was now totally initiated. At first he didn't tell me who he was or what he did, but after a while I found out that he worked at the bank, he was married and had two kids,. and he liked fucking boys and I was just what he wanted and he was just what I wanted.

After graduation from college I moved to New York and worked for shipping company. For the first several years I hooked up with random men, in my forties I hooked up with the man I share my life with. I am not a boy of course, I am a full gay adult, who somehow navigated all the dangers and managed to survive without any long term damage. I was a bottom boy and I am a bottom man, I enjoy pleasing my partner and enjoy when he pleases me. I just need to be pleased by my partner, I need to feel him, to reminhd me of how good it felt that first time in the dark at the park.