When I was coming of age, I was having serious crushes on a particular female actress. The problem is that I was female and I just couldn't put her out of my mind. I excused my feelings by telling myself that she was a real good actress and I liked her movies, but at night I would fantasize about doing things with her, or rather how she would do things with me.

I stayed crushed on her and in my junior year of high school I confessed my obsession with this actress to this other girl. She and I had a joint project, but we were otherwise not friends. She kidded me about my obsession and started to swat my behind, and would reach out and touch my boobs. One afternoon she got behind me and grabbed both of my boobs and whispered that she knew I liked it. She pushed me down on the couch and got on top of me and kissed me and challenged me to tell her I didn't like it. After feeling me up real good she said I was queer. She told me she was queer so my secret was locked away with her.

She was the only other queer girl I knew at school. We went to different colleges but we got together when we were home for holidays and such. We were too young to drink, so we either went to the movies or out to eat pizza or hung out together. Yes, every once in a while, we would get our faces to close to each other and we let our cheeks rub against each other. But our feelings were more like really close friends. Neither one of us acted out anything, other than that one afternoon at my house, we never did anything. And that meant not with any one else either.

As we got along towards graduation we were both in a series of weddings for friends, and because we were from the same town and school, we had mutual friends that were getting married and she and I would go together. At these weddings we were introduced to a lot of eligible men, but we never met anyone that interested us. After graduation we had to decided what we were going to do, so we rented a small two bedroom house and took jobs in town. We were oblivious to how we were perceived, at least no one ever said anything to us, but later we found out we had been 'pegged', but we were left alone.

At my work I met a man, he was in his late forties, but he was a really nice man and I would have lunch with him and I confessed my situation to him and he told me that staying platonic was the worst thing for us, either get in bed and 'be' who we wanted to be or move on and find someone that we could give ourselves to. He actually talked to both of us at the same time and asked us to spell it out, did we 'hunger' to be together? His 'orders' were to get buck naked and get some tits and ass and not stop until we fell apart exhausted.

It didn't happen quite like that, but it did happen, we gingerly got in bed and gingerly touched and kissed. It was after many hesitant times together that we got buck naked and went all out for some tits and ass. It wasn't normal for people to come out, but he told us to write down in a letter to our parents and tell them we were queer. Not mail it, but write it down, how would we tell our parents we were queer. To write down on a piece of paper everyday when we went to work "I am queer", then to make a poster like we did in high school, with big bold letters "We are Queers" He made us tell him out loud that we ate pussy. It sound easy now, but it wasn't, telling a man in those days that you 'ate pussy'.

It took a long time before I told my mother I wasn't interested in a 'man'. It was not well received, she said it was her worst nightmare. My girlfriend, we had gotten around to calling ourselves girlfriends, we didn't use the word partner or anything even similar to that, my girlfriend's family told her to keep such things to herself.

My girlfriend had a cousin, he was a man who had traveled quite a bit and had lived in Europe and we approached him and asked him if he would do us the favor and that is how we got our daughter. She is grow up now, and has a her family. In 2016 we tied the knot, not really for any reason other than why not. For a honeymoon we went on a cruise, and we introduced ourselves as a married couple and we had a grand time, along with the other grandmother's showing off pictures of our grandkids.

Go for it, say it out loud to yourself, if you are queer you are queer. Just don't shove it anyone's face, that is no way to make friends.