So, I've submitted this confession as a story on other websites who never post it. Most of the details in them where extremely exaggerated. After, writing and rewriting that story, I just need to confess the facts.

I was m****ted by not one, but two of my older male cousins from a very early age until about 12 years old, I think. When it came to be known what has been happening, nothing was ever done about it, and life went on.

I guess that kind of stuff really Fuck up your mind. During the time I was being m****ted, I started, taking what was being done to me and doing the same to my youngest sister. At first, it didn't bother me one way or another to touch my sister, who seemed to enjoy it too. Until I got a bit older, because, I can't remember any encounters after I turned 13.

Now, this is where I realize I'm different. My mind is fucked. When I was 16-17 years old I started noticing my sister had matured. At 13-14 years old her breasts where at least a very big C cup. Her flat back wasn't flat anymore, causr her Ass filled out nicely.

I tried starting a sexual relationship with her again, but she was not interested in the least. She would deter all my advances. It just made me want it that much more. Even to this day, she's married with a family, I still want my sister sexually. FUCKED up I know.

So, I remember, she wouldn't be alone with me anywhere for a very long time. She knew I was trying to fucked her, of course she avoided me. But twice I can remember, she was in the exact position she was trying to avoid, being alone with her big brother.

First, time I remember getting her alone was, one night dropping off a cousin at her house. My little sister had tagged along, I guess failing to realize we would be alone on the way back home, or she didn't think I had opportunity in a car. Well, details are kind of fuzzy now, but I remember speeding past our house, and her asking where we were going. While I was driving I reach over and fondle her breast, she pulls away and pushed my hand and with a shaky voice said "Please, Dont".

I pulled off the road next to a farmer's empty field. I pulled my erect penis out and she began sobbing asking why and saying "your my brother" which I just ignored apparently. Cause I definitely remember sitting on the middle console with the expectation of titty fucking her. Instead I was awkwardly leaning over masturbating with one hand and keeping her breasts exposed with the other. I should be ashamed or something, but, I'm more turned on knowing my Semen was the first she ever saw, experienced, or had on her body, especially her tits. All the pleading she had been doing just made it better for me.

Now the last time I had her alone, she had been trying extremely hard to never be in a room with me. I'm fortunately, for her, it was all done in vain. I remember getting home from school running inside, an realized the house was completely void of people. No body was home. Then baby sister showed up, can't remember why she was home after me, but she was. I recall seeing her from the window, waking to the house. I don't know why, but I ran and waited in my parents room. She walked in shortly after, looking for anyone to be home. When she spotted me, I think she realized, it was just us home, alone.

She made a move for the door, and next thing I remember is she ended up face down, at the edge of the bed, clutching her shirt at the chest, preventing me from any access to her beasts. She was in the perfect doggy style position, so my sick perverted self ceased the moment. She was wearing khaki short shorts. With my erect penis in hand, I move her shorts and panties from one of the leg holes and position my penis so that I get skin on skin with her butt crack.

So best case scenario for me was, I would get off using her butt cheekcheeks instead of my own hand, and would leave her nice and messy, but what happened next was the greatest moment for me up to that point in life. As I'm grinding back and forth with my dick on top her butt crack, I guess the movement and precum allowed my member to work its way down into her crack because after just a few minutes of basically skin on skin dry jumping my sister, she let out the loudest scream I had ever heard. I knew I had penetrated her asshole, accidentally, but penetrated nonetheless. I didn't last long, 3-5 minutes of actual ass pounding, anal stretching full on penetration, then I exploded inside my ex-anal virgin sister. And that was it, over.

I know I'm Fucked up mentally, here I am over 30 years old, fantasizing about those two encounters. I Still to this day, have a desire to Fuck my sister. Its not going away