I am artist by trade, I paint. I have always been a bit of left winger and I did my share with girls along the way. Mostly during the crazy days of college and grad school. One night stands and such. I only really had one long term girlfriend, but she was a bit too far to the left for me, or rather my family, for her and I to stay together. A couple of years out of college and living on a shoe string, or I should say, still on an allowance from my parents I met a man who rejected all my protestations, rejected right out my assurances to him that I swung the other way, pushed away everything I threw in front of him to keep him away, went straight for the prize and screwed me. I got a double dose that afternoon.

To everyone's surprise, and to my surprise, he now had full rights and took advantage of them. Dose after dose after dose and it wasn't a surprise that I ended up pregnant. Twenty five and pregnant. My parents were elated, I had finally met a man who could keep me in my place and knocked me up. I got a whole lot of I told you so comments, a whole lot of you better get your act together men don't put up with that shit comments, make sure you have on nice clean underwear when he comes to see you. If he doesn't want to crawl all over you when he sees you then you are screwing up. You keep his nose so far up your ass that he can't smell anyone else, the only smell in his nose is you.

I won't say that I wasn't a bit uncomfortable with my pregnancy, but I blew right through it. I did anything and everything while I was pregnant. I feel I stopped for a couple of days to let the baby out. Lots of pressure to put the baby to the tit. Lots of admonitions about keeping him away until I was ready. I did put the baby on the tit, but I was unable to keep him away and I got pregnant again a couple of months after the baby was born.

My parents, happy that I was having kids and I had a man looking after me, wanted me out of the house. I needed to set up my own nest and bring the babies over for an hour or so. My mother cut me off cold turkey. One day she just told me that they had rented an apartment for me and I was out. I needed to get him to put me in a suitable house.

I moved into this house when I was twenty seven. Four bedrooms, two and half baths, large living area, with an open kitchen, and a small den. And a great big garage. He put a swing set in the back yard when we moved in and neither baby could walk. I had a choice, have another baby or start looking for work.

Against that threat I got pregnant. I never paid any attention to the fact that I was going to have three kids spaced a year apart. If he wanted me pregnant, where do I sign up. I'm going to make the story short here, I had five kids, I turned 32 with five kids. I look like one of those 1950 housewives with five kids. None of them in real school yet. I had gained a little weight, my face was fuller, and I spent my time with other moms in the neighborhood. I don't speak about my college days, because I hide my playing around with other girls. I fend off any questions of that nature with comments like I never found a guy I liked. People find it hard to believe that I wasn't a crush in high school and on the cheerleading squad.

I love my life. I love being a house wife, homemaker, stay at home mom, soccer mom, minivan mom, wife, chief cook and bottle washer. I have help, I have a maid service that comes twice a week, and I have a full time nanny. And of course I have my mom. But, I can't leave out my husband. I don't think that he had intentions of getting married, neither did I, when we met. He was after the prize, and I wasn't sure of anything. I had never had a man maul me. But nature does what nature does.

I lie, but in a way I don't even remember me using my maiden name. And I try not remember those days in college when I was hanging out with the wrong crowd. That I regret. I just got sucked into the wrong crowd. And one more regret, the one that makes me cry at night. When I got pregnant the first time my first thought was abortion. Just get an abortion and move on. I shudder when I think that I even thought about it.

I vote along party lines, my husband's. Isn't that the way it is supposed to be? I am not a Trump person, far from it. But I have to think of my kids. How terrible my life would be if I had chosen to go down the road of an abortion. When I first found out I was pregnant I contemplated it. I was too scared thank God. I can't say I lean to the left anymore. I've grown up. I am happy that the world in the US is turning against abortion. I am sad that other counties are trying to get it approved. When asked, I tell girls, have a baby and then ask if you think abortion is right? Hold your baby and ask yourself, is abortion right? It isn't.