I turned forty last week. At twentysix I fell into a relationship with a man at work. A much older married man. I felt grown up. And one day he was getting divorced and I was supposed to move in with him, live with him. I was twentyeight, living with a fiftyone year old man.

In the end his wife saved me by going back to him, but not before I had a child. I am forty, my relationship, my child mean that I am never going to fully move on. I am forever going to be his girlfriend, I have to be, for my son.