I need atonement, I don't know if this is the right site, but I have to get it of my chest. I have always been a criminal, various approved schools, Borstal,prisons as I progressed through my adult life.

The crunch came when I was in Wandsworth prison doing a five stretch for robbery, I was targeted by some nutter that wanted me to deal for him, I have never dabbled in drugs, never wanted to, but this guy kept on at me, at the time a member of the Richardson family, was on remand in my wing he got to here about this, I don't know how or why he approached me, he told me the only way out was to give this guy a serious beating and the rest of his "crew" would leave me alone.

I did just that, I said I wanted to meet, he did so in my cell I am not proud of what I did to him but was the only way, I put him in hospital for six months and actually got away with it, claiming to be with another inmate playing chess on another landing. no one fucked with me after that.

I did my time, got out and was met by mate who said someone wanted to meet me, I thought this was for an earner, I was taken to surrey a big rambling house, and who opens the door but my mentor from Wandsworth. He gave me a monkey (£500) said go and get a decent suite and come back over the weekend, I did and I was recruited into the most notorious crime family in the south.

My main roll was to enforce and collect monies form various establishments, which i did with ease, it was a cushy number, okay yeh I roughed up a few people and gave them a slap things were looking good, then I was asked to step up, someone in London was disrespecting the gang by working on their turf, this was a no no by any gang.

Myself and a couple of other guys went in search of th e offending crew, we found them just two guys selling dodgy speed in the clubs. we bundled them up and took them to warehouse for a beating, but this was not enough I was given a webley (gun) and was told to shoot them, I did, no compassion, no emotion, just part of the job.

a couple of years went by, I had a few run ins with the filth but nothing major as soon as i was arrested I was out within an hour. Had good holidays anywhere in the world life was good.

My main Governor was in the craft, (the Freemasons) I had never heard of them, some bullshit secret society, he said that he wanted me to join, what the fuck for i thought, so it was nose to the grindstone learning all these bloody rituals, I was soon passed as a master Mason, load of bollocks I thought, but the people in this lodge were judges, police, solicitors, and some nobs from the armed forces.

I soon realized why I was "asked to join" certain members were lacking in keeping the rituals secret, they had to be punished but not in the ritualistic way that Freemasonry teaches this would put suspicion on the lodges in question.

My task was to deal with these people any way I wanted so long as they were dead. I will not name names except one member who was embezzling money from a very high order. his surname was Capaldi, i was given the task of disposing of this lax member and what a shitstorm it caused, The only gratification I got from it was that when we did hang him from Blackfriars bridge, we found loads of kiddie porn in his penthouse.

I have killed 15 people either in my job or down to Freemasonry, I still have no qualms, although i needed this blog.

Yes I know what you are thinking what a load of bullshit well this has helped and the only reason I am telling all this is that my wife has just passed, I look back and she was the only person who kept me sane all those years, my children were kept out of the life, no one knows in the family what I have done, to them I was just a chauffeur to a wealthy family.

Thanks for this site. and no I will not give anyone closure as all my killings are still unsolved. M.M