First I confess that I come here to read the confessions or stories of gay men. I like to hear what other men feel or experience, some of the times voluntarily and at other times involuntarily. Everyone has a first time and I guess that most of us never planned on having a first time with another guy. Having another guy's cock in your mouth is both exhilarating and scary at the same time.

I was eleven and I was spending the night with a boy from my class. His room had two single beds and after lights out we talked and then he got up and came over to my bed and showed me that his cock was hard and told me he wanted me to touch it. Touching a hard cock does something to you inside, his cock was hard and he asked me to suck it for him. Sucking a cock the first time does something to you inside, not to mention that you don't want to stop. His cock wasn't that big and I could get his entire cock in my mouth, just remembering gets my cock hard now. I guess I loved it. After a few minutes he sat on the bed and leaned back and I sucked him until he 'peed' in my mouth, actually he had a small orgasm and ejaculated into my mouth. I liked that a lot.

After that sleepover whenever I slept over I would suck his cock and jerk him off with my hand. We showered together and in the shower we would line up with him behind me and he would pretend to fuck me. He was my first and you always remember your first like it was yesterday.

My second was an older boy who mowed lawns for a summer job. He was tall and blond and he mowed with his shirt off. One afternoon he was mowing our yard and asked if he could use the bathroom and he came inside. He stood at the toilet in his shorts and tennis shoes and I watched him pee in the toilet. He turned to me and asked if I needed to do that because it freaked him out a little. I asked what freaked him out and he said watching him. I said sorry but he asked me if I liked that, watching guys pee. Any ways I sucked his cock that day, it was his first time and he liked it, I was pretty hungry for his cock so I sucked him pretty hard and held his cock with my hand. I sucked him for the rest of the summer. Later the next year I had anal sex with him in his room. He was pretty homosexual and he liked to have sex and I liked to have sex so we got along pretty well.

He was my only Adonis. I grew up to like other types of men, as I grew older I developed an aversion to the body culture and men who spent all their time strutting around. I was more of the type that liked sucking off the man at the Seven Eleven and getting fucked in the store room. I just developed a like for older heavier men with beards and dark skin. Not blacks, but Latinos, Pakistanis, Turks, those types. In our neighborhood there were many Arabs who were running the small businesses and they traded stories and it was a good bet to go down to their store and get to suck them off and sometimes get fucked. And they didn't care that I was still in high school.

I have never been interested in a close relationship. I am closeted in that I am not out there and there is no reason for people to believe I am gay unless they know me. I have a close group of friends, I run a downtown restaurant and bar that caters to the after work crowd. The area is pretty mixed, we have Greeks, Palestinians, Lebanese and Turks. I have a bartender that comes around to my place, he is Lebanese, after we get off work. He knows how to make me feel good, he enjoys having his cock sucked and likes to have sex too. I never got over the feeling of having hot cum or pee in my mouth. It is the million dollar prize to have a hot stream of pee hitting your open mouth and he indulges my offbeat desire.

Well I hope this gives you some pleasure, we are all alike in the end. We all have a dream of a horse cock but in the end we settle for a hard cock to suck and a man who gets off by fucking you. I would like to hear about your first time, or your dream cock. It makes me feel good to know that some of you out there enjoy it as much as I do.