I married a man for several reasons, I was lonely, I was tired of living in a rental with two other roommates, I felt that life was going by and I would never have kids, but mostly I married him because he was successful and he bought me nice things and took me to nice places. He could afford me. In that sense I got married for the money.

I am now married for ten years and I have two kids and I live in a house and I have everything that anyone would want, but I am not in love with him. I know that is picky, and I try to learn to love him, but I can't. I don't deny him sex, I am always willing, but that doesn't mean that I enjoy it. It is a chore, like cleaning the kitchen or the bathroom, something I have to do to stay married.

It has gotten to the point that I don't want to be seen naked by him, and I don't want to see him naked either. He shaves naked which grosses me out and we have two daughters. He shows off his penis to me, like I am going to desire it. I don't. His penis is gross, the whole penis thing is gross. But I submit to it like I have since I married him, it is part of my job, like keeping house.

I masturbate to get off. I have always masturbated, as a kid, in high school, in college, when I lived with my roommates, and I masturbate now. I have my routine, I take the kids to school, I come home and take a hot bath, I admire myself in the mirror, I use mirrors to masturbate, I like touching myself in the mirror, using my dildo while holding the mirror, I masturbate with my hand until I am fully aroused and my flower is wide open and I then use my dildo and my clit to come. I don't need to masturbate every day, but about once a week.

I never dream of a penis, not ever. I don't have any desire for men. I never have. To me men are just there, and no man has ever turned me on. I only get turned on with my own body, I love my body, my breasts are my best feature but I also have a nice form. I have always been female attractive and I turned down lots of dates in high school and college.

I don't cheat on my husband, unless masturbating is cheating. He gets a pretty good deal, I am a good wife in all other ways, and he has two very beautiful daughters, I made very beautiful girls. And like I said, I let him have sex, it is just that I am not having sex when he is. I have sex when I am alone with my thoughts and my mirror.