From reading confessions on here I don't suppose that my situation is all that out of the ordinary. I married young, in my early twenties and went on to have a family. I am now in my mid forties and I feel that I am pretty much through menopause. I notice that I have some vaginal dryness but more importantly I have lost my libido for sex. I am not kidding when I told my husband that it is OK with me if we have separate bedrooms.

I have also started to experiment with sex toys. I bought two on the internet and I have them well hidden away. The biggest concern I have is if I die and my daughter finds them. But I am not planning on dying. I don't suppose that the sex toys I bought are all that extraordinary but they are different sizes and I definitely get a better feeling from the larger one. The smaller one is tiny compared to the other one, which I bought purely on impulse. I have gone back to the same company and I am considering purchasing some other items, maybe something for anal penetration. My husband never pleased me in that way and I have always found pleasure by using items around the house and maybe I can get more pleasure out of something make specifically for that purpose.

I have also joined a chat site where I have sex discussions with other women. I am upfront and tell them that I have never been with another woman but I want to think that I do. While I am having these chats I use one of my sex toys and let the other woman talk to me about how she would make love to me. Sometimes these discussions get very hot and descriptive and it drives me crazy thinking about it. It is quite exciting but I would like to try in real life, I think I would enjoy it. I have always wondered what it's like to go down on a woman.

I want to add that some of the things I read on here make me very hot, some I read several times while I use my sex toys. Mostly I read about other women and their experiences having lesbian sex. Maybe some of it is all made up but I don't think so because many of the feelings expressed I feel right now.

I never had anyone push me to have any kind of sex when I was growing up. I had sex for the first time in my junior year of college which was quite late. But I can well imagine what it must have been like to have a man take hold of you when you are little and have sex with you. I am older now and nothing like that ever happened to me but I daydream about it.

Well those are my thoughts and maybe it is a confession or just my rambling. I haven't had sex with my husband in two years, he has his room and I have mine.