Late last year my husband and I separated. We have two beautiful daughters and both are now out of the house. The children were the only thing keeping us together. Once they were gone, I realized that I had needs and desires. It has been seventeen years since we had sex. I gave up on the thought of sex, nor did I desire it during that time.

Fast forward to earlier this year and I began talking with Matt. We met over the internet and really hit it off. He was married, but very sexually active. We would discuss sex and I began desiring sex. Within less than a month, we decided to meet at a hotel. It was the first sex I had in over seventeen years. I was extremely nervous. Luckily, when we met at the hotel, it was like we had been together for years. He made me very comfortable. We spent three days having sex. I tried numerous sex acts that I never tried in my life.

That is why I am writing my confession. One day in the hotel, Matt walked into the bathroom as I was getting ready. We were both nude. He began kissing me on the neck. I wanted to turn around and begin pleasuring him, but he made me stay facing away from him. I felt his cock against my ass as it began to grow. He began pushing his cock up against my ass and I wanted him terribly. We had discussed anal before and I told him I was scared and had no desire. But as I felt him press his hard cock against my ass, I now wanted him to enter me. Finally, I reached back and helped guide his cock into place. Luckily, he stopped and went to apply lube. Thank god he did. This experience was exciting, but more uncomfortable than I had expected. Matt is of average size. He felt much larger.

That brings me to my dilemma. After Matt, I have begun dating guys who live closer to me. Over the last six months, I have been with maybe ten guys. Yes, I am making up for lost time. Most of the guys have been one night stands. Several I have dated for a few weeks or months. I recently settled down with Marcus. Marcus is very nice. The problem with Marcus is that he is well above average in the penis area. It is so large that giving him head is not pleasant. I do enjoy the feeling when we have sex. But, recently he has been asking to have anal sex with me. I have politely refused thus far. To encourage me, he has begun fingering my ass as I pleasure myself with my fingers. What I discovered is that I can orgasm much quicker and the intensity of the orgasm is greater as I can feel the pressure of his fingers imside of me.

Since I have come to enjoy this, he is asking to use his cock. I'm very afraid that it will be too painful. It may ruin the experience. Any thoughts or advice???