Whereas I am assertive and outgoing publically I become totally submissive to older Latino men, especially men who have money. I am very submissive to my father, so it fits. Part of me wants to scream and part of me wants to be hugged and petted. Being petted makes me want to go further, get kissed and worse. After I let myself be petted and more I scream (when he is no longer present).
There is one man, an old friend of my father's who pets me and I go to bed with him. I have been in love with him since I was three. I first went to bed with him after I graduated from college and moved to New York. When he talks to me or wants me to be with him I am totally submissive, emotionally, socially and sexually. I love being submissive sexually, he is a dominant man and that includes making love. With him I never feel like screaming. Being his feels good, but I know it is because I am in love with him.


