Straight Female / 28
I am 28 and I have a degree in the Sciences and I work in research for a large corporation. I like my job. But that is the not why I am writing. My problem is that I am unable to walk away from him. I have tried so many times that I have given up. He is the husband of my mother's best friend. He gave me my first man kiss, he gave me my first man hug at the same time. There is a huge difference between a man kiss and hug and any general ordinary kiss or hug. He shook me up and had sex with me soon after. When he was hugging me having sex with me after it was like the most normal thing in the world, hugs and kisses, pressing me against him and then having sex what can be more normal than that. Maybe I am making it up in my head but I had sex with him too, I am sure I had sex with him too.
Go on for all the years since then, I have had sex with him, I have been kissed by him, hugged by him, held by him, loved by him, you name it. My mother had a scare which fortunately turned out to be benign. I went to see my mother because she needed emotional support. This was last weekend. He came with his wife and he took me into his arms right there in the living room and gave me this enormous man hug and long, long man kiss. I just did what always happens, I lost my ability to resist and he held me in his arms for so long telling me that I was his girl and he just wanted to hug me right then.
Later I apologized to my mother and she asked me why I was always apologizing I had been his girl forever and was always going to be his girl, if I loved him I loved him and who should tell me not to love him. I was very confused. I stayed in town that weekend and the four of us went out to dinner. He didn't come see me to be with me until the next morning and we had sex in my mother's house for the first time. He took me out to a brunch afterwards and when I got home and got ready to leave to go back to work she pushed a broach into my hand and told me it was my grandmothers. As she held my hand she told me to love him and stop beating myself up.
I am home now and I keep thinking of all those times I had sex with him when I was a girl and my mother has to have known. My secret was never a secret except to myself.
Go on for all the years since then, I have had sex with him, I have been kissed by him, hugged by him, held by him, loved by him, you name it. My mother had a scare which fortunately turned out to be benign. I went to see my mother because she needed emotional support. This was last weekend. He came with his wife and he took me into his arms right there in the living room and gave me this enormous man hug and long, long man kiss. I just did what always happens, I lost my ability to resist and he held me in his arms for so long telling me that I was his girl and he just wanted to hug me right then.
Later I apologized to my mother and she asked me why I was always apologizing I had been his girl forever and was always going to be his girl, if I loved him I loved him and who should tell me not to love him. I was very confused. I stayed in town that weekend and the four of us went out to dinner. He didn't come see me to be with me until the next morning and we had sex in my mother's house for the first time. He took me out to a brunch afterwards and when I got home and got ready to leave to go back to work she pushed a broach into my hand and told me it was my grandmothers. As she held my hand she told me to love him and stop beating myself up.
I am home now and I keep thinking of all those times I had sex with him when I was a girl and my mother has to have known. My secret was never a secret except to myself.
