The real world, I became sexually active at 16 with a man I will call The Bear. One night I woke up after a dream and wrote it down and later polished it up. It was a dream about being lost in the woods like Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf comes along and ravishes you, it was a very real dream, I could feel the wolf, I woke up wet and my heart racing and all so I wrote this down. The way I wrote it, it was about being taken out to a party and a man grabs me and takes me away to a room and ravishes me and leaves me naked on the bed to be found by another girl who is going to the bathroom. Anyway my story was found by a friend who told her mother who told the school counselor and I was put in counseling for having these fantasies, not before being questioned for hours as to whether or not it happened. I never said anything about me and The Bear, that's a secret till this day.

In any event time passes and I am 29 and I am working at this office building with lots of employees, it is in the winter months but not too cold but it gets dark early and I left around six thirty. I had parked my car next to the stairwell. When I got to my car I was trying to get the key in the door and I was grabbed from behind with an arm around my throat and a hand over my mouth. I dropped my purse and keys to the floor and he swung me around several times and turned me towards him and hit me in the face with his fist and knocked me to the floor. He was dressed in winter clothes and had on a ski mask and he went for my pants and I fought him so he hit me again only harder and I guess more or less knocked me out. I came too and he had my pants off and he had his pants off and he was getting on top of me. Then wham he flies off to one side and hits the wall, and then wham again I hear the most horrible sound you can hear, his head being hit by a baseball bat, and then wham again the baseball bat hit him again. And this man stands over me and tells me to cover myself up because who wants to see my snatch like that. He collects my purse and keys and yells at me for parking next to a stairwell, he puts me in my car and tells me to get the hell out of there and keep my mouth shut.

Well the man was found later in the stairwell but two floors down. He wasn't dead but he should have been and of course he doesn't know what hit him. I let my face heal and take off work and tell people I tripped on the stairs at my apartment building. For the many, many months that follow I am watched over in the parking lot, I can feel it. I am watched when I leave my house. I am watched, but I am not watched I am being protected. When I can't feel the man that is watching me I get nervous. After several months of this I start to fantasize that my guardian angel is coming to get me one night and take me away with him. I have this dream again only more visible about the Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood only this time instead of the Wolf being able to ravish me The Big Bear comes and kills the Wolf and takes me away with him to his lair and the Big Bear ravishes me over and over again and I have little bear cubs and I become a bear. Even I know that I need to go talk to someone because these dreams are getting more vivid and more vivid, I am masturbating with anything I can get my hands on, I seclude myself in my apartment to masturbate.

Only this time I call The Bear, the man that I was sexually active with when I was a teenager. Only this time I am not a teenager and I am desperate for him. Desperate, he has been in my dreams for months and months and I am desperate for him. He gets upset with me, he tells me to settle down, he holds me down and tells me to settle down and finally just orders me to tell him what is going on. So I tell him about the parking lot. He ravished me after that, ravished me and ravished me over and over all night long. He won't admit it but I know he was there that night, I know it. It has to be him.