I am almost 24. Clearly i am an adult but i can't feel like an adult at all. I feel like a child or a teenager. I am stll dependent from my parents. I like to watch cartoons and listening songs that meant for children. I am sure a adult-child. My parents tell me to grow up but i don't want to. I like to behave like a vulnerable child. I am enough immature and childish for my age. I believe someone very easily and i afraid easily. I prefer to close myself in my room and never have to face the world of adulthood.



I am socially awkward. Right now i listening the song of smurfs. It's more easy to connect with cartoon characters than human beings. At the same i feel like an aged child because i feel like something missing from when i was really a kid. Is missing the ability to feel happy or to feel in general. There is so much emptiness and apathy in my life. The only thing i have and it's fit for my age is my sex drive. I masturbate, sometimes everyday. When i was a kid i was masturbating more often.



Sometimes when i become sensitive and alone in my room i fantasize i had a grown woman who was kind with me and loved me and be a mother to me. To show me the world and to accept me as i am. And to find me men to have sex with them. Other times i fantasize to had a grown man to be my daddy. To buy me candy and protects me from bad people and went anywhere together. To hug me and be his sweet little girl. And if i had sexual needs he could help me by having sex with me. It's cute to think a handsome and kind version of a daddy and have romantic cute sex with him. And sometimes fast and wild.



I am very egocentric person, exactly like a child. I only care about my own needs and feelings and i don't really can feel others and understand their point of view. I don't even try. If i was very close to someone i would propably disappointed because nobody is going to love me like a parent, nobody is going to pay his/her attention to me like a parent. Many times i feel like noone likes me and if someone speak to me nicely deep down he/she doesn't want me. I like to get lots of attention from people and at the same time i want to be invisible. I want to belong somewhere and find a self.