I am 26 and I feel I have lived forever. I was sexually active at 12, my mother's boyfriend who later got shot and killed over a girl in a bar. Everyone wants me to feel bad about it but I enjoyed it, it felt good, good like I can't describe. But since he was killed I have not been able to want to have sex with a man. I am in a same sex relationship with a girl I met in my first semester at community college. She got knocked up by the man she worked for and had to drop out but he ended up paying all my tuition and books so that I completed my college education. Then he knocked me up.

He knows we are in a relationship but he doesn't care. He has sex with us and sometimes he sleeps with us. We see him three or four times a week. Because of him having sex with us our sex drive for each other goes down until it is exploding and we can't hold back and have our own sex. We won't have sex for him and we have told him a hundred times. When he is having sex we have sex with him.

My son is 22 months old and I want to have another baby, I don't want my kids to be five years apart. Mia's daughter is 7 and she is thinking about having another baby. It is because of this, having the babies that we decided that I should get married to him. I have sex with him but I don't love him. He is just the man of the house to me. I never feel like having sex with him, if he wants it I don't refuse him. Mia feels different and she says does want to have sex with him and she is very affectionate while I am not. The only sex I feel like having is with Mia but that is something that takes a long time to happen, sometimes weeks or a month or longer but once I want to have sex with her nothing makes it better until we do.

I don't feel like I am in love, it is more like I can't stand being alone or apart from Mia. I got married three weeks ago like we agreed, just Mia and one of the court people as witnesses and the judge and us. Sign sealed and delivered. I have very deep feelings for my son and for Mia's daughter but I can't seem to have feelings for my son's father. Like I said, Mia is my life, I live for her and because of her. She is in my mind all day, I wish I could be more affectionate and tell her I love her but it just won't come out.

In spite of living together and all we consider ourselves straight, we don't identify with any of the LGBT stuff. We are straight with a man of the house.