Nellie hated me. She was such a bitch and this was only sixth grade. She was new and decided I would be her perfect enemy. Well, after a couple of weeks of her taunting and bullshit I came up with a plan. My sense of humor has always been on the dark side so I got a Slurpee cup, filled it with dead lizards I had found on the road--we lived near the woods and salamanders were everywhere--and a slug and took the cup to school the next day.

I convinced my teacher to let me stay in class during recess so I could work on the computer. As soon as he closed the door I went to work, carefully placing the lizards on top of her pencils and the slug on her eraser.

Recess was over and we were getting ready for math or something when the bitch screamed! It was awesome!! I laughed so damn hard and of course the teacher knew I did it but I never did get in trouble for it. Probably cause my mom was doing one of the teachers at the school.

Served that bitch right.