About five years ago, I worked as a waiter at a restaurant in the city. A brand new employee who had just moved there from the suburbs was fired after his first shift for attempting to sell drugs while on the clock. I looked him up on Facebook to see if he shared any details about the incident, but found something else. He had an incredibly hot mom, and I got an idea.

I don't remember how I got her phone number, but I called her and told her that I had evidence which, if given to the authorities, would lead to the long-term incarceration of her son, and I would give it to said authorities unless she followed my instructions. I had gotten a room at a hotel in the suburb in which she lived and told her to be there at a specific time. There would be a key card for her under the door and, inside, she would find a young man handcuffed to the bed, as well as further instructions on the bedside table. I told her she would be recorded via hidden camera, not only to make sure that she followed the instructions, but also so that the recording could be used to extort a large sum of money from the man. If she didn't do exactly as instructed, her son would go to prison.

There was no camera, of course. I was the man on the bed, and the plan worked. She thought I was just as much a victim as her. I pleaded with her to let me go, but she just kept telling me not to make it any harder as she did everything that I wanted her to, forcing me to eat both of her holes until she came on my face, and finally blowing me until I exploded in her mouth. Only then did she uncuff me with the key that I had left with her instructions. It was my final written command. I never went back to that suburb again, nor did I ever see her son afterward. It's a big city.