Straight Male / 30
I have a porn addiction and I want to deepen it until it takes over my entire life, I definitely have feelings for it, you could go as far as to say I am in love with porn the way people can love each other.
I'm here to tell you how I got to this point, and why I want this.
I started out like any normal kid discovering the pleasure of masturbation, quickly followed by masturbation to porn. I think my first step down this road was exclusively watching lesbian porn I didn't want to see another guys dick while jerking off.
This set several principles in the mind of a young boy who had no comparison for normal sex. To begin with there is always a woman on top, initiating sex, and take control in role play scenes never a man. Add to that, I wanted feel like i could relate to what I was watching, but how can I relate to the woman wearing the strapon they are always so much bigger than my dick that I felt like I wasn't a real man and my dick was tiny, so noone is going to want me to fuck them. however, the woman getting fucked wasn't wearing one, men and women with strapons penetrate, even though i'm male i'm not a man, others get penetrated. I don't have a pussy though so I can fully relate to the woman getting fucked.
Cue lesbian anal sex, what is one thing men and women both have? I've finally found porn I can relate to people who are not men getting fucked in the ass. even before I got to this point I would always time my orgasm to match the woman getting fucked.
I was a virgin as well so my favorite to watch was always innocent/reluctant virgins being taken advantage of by a female authority, where the virgin ends up begging for more.(1)
I continued watching this for many years fantasizing about strong women taking advantage and fucking my ass before I decided to try it on myself, but I lived at home and couldn't very well buy myself a dildo, candles are just not meant for this.
(1) this instilled a fetish that laid the foundation of my porn addiction, a fetish for being forced to go out of your mind desperate for something you were adamantly against. (2)
at this point I decidedto look at options for how I could go about getting a dildo (i never did :'( ) which led me to discover the world of femdom especially sph (this helped reinforce the idea that men should just be women's sex toys, that my dick really is small (andto wish it was smaller because I got off to the humiliation and the smaller you are the more humiliating it is the more arosing it is), and finally that if there is this much out there with so many views it must be normal and good.
***note: writing this is turning me on so much. as i write I'm realising details I didn't previously and I already knew porn had twisted me but to see just how much and know there is still more I can do, further I can take this. it's got me so hot i can't take my hand off my dick.***
by this point thought I didn't know it at the time i had definitely developed what society would call an unhealthy relationship with porn and if not yet was well on my way to developing a porn addiction.
(2) add this fetish when searching for femdom porn and you discover hypnosis and brain washing. the idea of being mindlessly obedient was scary and repulsive but I came to realise that hypnosis and brain washing could make me desperate for it to the point where I would beg for it which turned me on and helped me get passed it. I remember how i felt and know that if I could see then what it would lead me to i never would have listened to a single hypnosis file (thankyou issabella valentine, I still think about your breasts dipped in chocolate , you opened my eyes to a whole new world and set me on the path to becoming the pathetic porn addicted sub i am today). It wasn't easy to get here there were several time when I could see how it was affecting my life and i got scared and would stop all hypnosis and brain washing. But the creators of this content were aware that this is a processes and that users may try to resist and added programing so that nomatter what eventually you would come back for more, and every time I did it turned me on to see myself fail, and it turnedme on everytime I saw I would go longer and longer before tring to resist and was able to do so for less and less time untill I stopped resisting completly.
Up to this point I have tried to write in such away that someone who thinks there is a problem with my relationship with porn could relate, but the thing between my legs is not a dick it is a cute little clitty and the only thing wrong with my relation ship with porn is that I still have clear thoughts of other things and my clitty can unfortunately still get hard when porn is not involved.
I remember how i felt at the start and know an earlier version of myself would be ashamed and repulsed by this but I know better now. nologer can nor am I willing to ever resist the hypnosis can brainwashing conditioning i've put myself through. ***OH fuck I just came*** thinking about that will do it every time. As I already said I didn't get to this point easily, when I first heard about the following things I was anywhere from not interested to revolted: pegging, being submissive, spanking, feet, sph, watersports, cockcages, panty wearing and more. these all came before my porn addiction as it is now, and they are deeply fixed parts of me. thnaks to porn, hypnosis and brainwashing I've learned the truth about myself, I am inferior to women and exist only to serve, if I could have one wish and I am saving to pay for it, it would be to get gangbanged by a group of women verbally humiliating my clitty while I where panties and a cockcage they promisto let me out of at the end but make it permanent with a padlocked pericing, and give me the honer of drinking their piss.
It was after reaching the point of this ultimate fantasy that i discovered porn addict hypnosis, and am trying to reach a point where it all that matters to me is watchung porn and working to sustain a comfortable to spen watching porn. (i'm up to 4hrs a day minimum)
if there are anyother legal fetishes anyone thinks I wouldn't want please reply with it
I'm here to tell you how I got to this point, and why I want this.
I started out like any normal kid discovering the pleasure of masturbation, quickly followed by masturbation to porn. I think my first step down this road was exclusively watching lesbian porn I didn't want to see another guys dick while jerking off.
This set several principles in the mind of a young boy who had no comparison for normal sex. To begin with there is always a woman on top, initiating sex, and take control in role play scenes never a man. Add to that, I wanted feel like i could relate to what I was watching, but how can I relate to the woman wearing the strapon they are always so much bigger than my dick that I felt like I wasn't a real man and my dick was tiny, so noone is going to want me to fuck them. however, the woman getting fucked wasn't wearing one, men and women with strapons penetrate, even though i'm male i'm not a man, others get penetrated. I don't have a pussy though so I can fully relate to the woman getting fucked.
Cue lesbian anal sex, what is one thing men and women both have? I've finally found porn I can relate to people who are not men getting fucked in the ass. even before I got to this point I would always time my orgasm to match the woman getting fucked.
I was a virgin as well so my favorite to watch was always innocent/reluctant virgins being taken advantage of by a female authority, where the virgin ends up begging for more.(1)
I continued watching this for many years fantasizing about strong women taking advantage and fucking my ass before I decided to try it on myself, but I lived at home and couldn't very well buy myself a dildo, candles are just not meant for this.
(1) this instilled a fetish that laid the foundation of my porn addiction, a fetish for being forced to go out of your mind desperate for something you were adamantly against. (2)
at this point I decidedto look at options for how I could go about getting a dildo (i never did :'( ) which led me to discover the world of femdom especially sph (this helped reinforce the idea that men should just be women's sex toys, that my dick really is small (andto wish it was smaller because I got off to the humiliation and the smaller you are the more humiliating it is the more arosing it is), and finally that if there is this much out there with so many views it must be normal and good.
***note: writing this is turning me on so much. as i write I'm realising details I didn't previously and I already knew porn had twisted me but to see just how much and know there is still more I can do, further I can take this. it's got me so hot i can't take my hand off my dick.***
by this point thought I didn't know it at the time i had definitely developed what society would call an unhealthy relationship with porn and if not yet was well on my way to developing a porn addiction.
(2) add this fetish when searching for femdom porn and you discover hypnosis and brain washing. the idea of being mindlessly obedient was scary and repulsive but I came to realise that hypnosis and brain washing could make me desperate for it to the point where I would beg for it which turned me on and helped me get passed it. I remember how i felt and know that if I could see then what it would lead me to i never would have listened to a single hypnosis file (thankyou issabella valentine, I still think about your breasts dipped in chocolate , you opened my eyes to a whole new world and set me on the path to becoming the pathetic porn addicted sub i am today). It wasn't easy to get here there were several time when I could see how it was affecting my life and i got scared and would stop all hypnosis and brain washing. But the creators of this content were aware that this is a processes and that users may try to resist and added programing so that nomatter what eventually you would come back for more, and every time I did it turned me on to see myself fail, and it turnedme on everytime I saw I would go longer and longer before tring to resist and was able to do so for less and less time untill I stopped resisting completly.
Up to this point I have tried to write in such away that someone who thinks there is a problem with my relationship with porn could relate, but the thing between my legs is not a dick it is a cute little clitty and the only thing wrong with my relation ship with porn is that I still have clear thoughts of other things and my clitty can unfortunately still get hard when porn is not involved.
I remember how i felt at the start and know an earlier version of myself would be ashamed and repulsed by this but I know better now. nologer can nor am I willing to ever resist the hypnosis can brainwashing conditioning i've put myself through. ***OH fuck I just came*** thinking about that will do it every time. As I already said I didn't get to this point easily, when I first heard about the following things I was anywhere from not interested to revolted: pegging, being submissive, spanking, feet, sph, watersports, cockcages, panty wearing and more. these all came before my porn addiction as it is now, and they are deeply fixed parts of me. thnaks to porn, hypnosis and brainwashing I've learned the truth about myself, I am inferior to women and exist only to serve, if I could have one wish and I am saving to pay for it, it would be to get gangbanged by a group of women verbally humiliating my clitty while I where panties and a cockcage they promisto let me out of at the end but make it permanent with a padlocked pericing, and give me the honer of drinking their piss.
It was after reaching the point of this ultimate fantasy that i discovered porn addict hypnosis, and am trying to reach a point where it all that matters to me is watchung porn and working to sustain a comfortable to spen watching porn. (i'm up to 4hrs a day minimum)
if there are anyother legal fetishes anyone thinks I wouldn't want please reply with it
