Unconventional Marriage

During my last year of grad school I met a girl at the student union, a new freshman. I asked her if she wanted to go out dancing. She agreed but only if her roommate could come too. We went to a dance hall on the edge of town (at that time 18 was the age for beer). She danced but kept her distance, her roommate accepted dances with her arms around the guy's neck, grinding her hips into him and eventually she found a cowboy to take her with him.

I got the girl back to her apartment, her roommate was in the sack with the cowboy so we sat outside on the stairs to the apartment. At a given point I suggested she come to my apartment, she could have the bed and I would take the couch. I did, but first I took her. In the morning she was so embarrassed he couldn't talk. I took her again, this time she just laid back and let it happen.

To make a long story short I married her, that semester. She was so distraught, losing her virginity like that was worse than death, I found out she was Church of Christ and very religious. I left grad school with an 18 year old in tow. She never accepted sex as a fun activity, it was her punishment for being a woman, she was otherwise a good wife, she was nice and all, but any affection or sex was pure hell for her. Over time I had many lovers, a few long term.

My wife has never gotten over the feeling of her punishment of having been born a woman. At the same time she has been maritally dependent since the day I first had sex with her. She did agree to two children. In a nutshell I came to understand that my wife is a child, very grown up, very capable, a good professional, but a child and I am more father than husband. And so I have a lady friend for sex, and I pay my way with her, but she will never be my wife.