Straight Female / 20
I Hate My Body
I hate being beautiful. No matter what I eat or how much I eat, my body won't get fat. During high school, I've only ever had sex twice until a couple of weeks before high school finished, but that didn't stop people calling me a slut. My first boyfriend (the one who took my virginity) had to move with his parents and neither of us wanted a long-distance relationship. We were only dating for about a week anyway, and no one knew about us being a thing.
My second "boyfriend" is a piece of trash and I hate him because he ruined my life. He faked being nice just to have sex with me. He secretly recorded us having sex and because I wasn't a virgin, the next day he called me a slut and broke up with me. I only found out afterwards that he only had sex with me as a bet with his friends.
Of course it wasn't long before most of the people saw the video of me having sex. Everyone treated me as a slut. All of my fake "friends" distanced themselves from me. I only realized they were only friends with me in the first place because I was pretty, which made me popular. Those friends talked bad about me behind my back. I only had one person I could call a friend, and he was in the year below me. Of course he had heard the things about me, but he didn't really care. I couldn't spend much time with him however because he was in a different year and usually hung out with his group of friends which made him hard to approach.
I considered suicide a few times before, but it was nothing more than a passing thought. Instead, I crumbled and just gave in to being called a slut. Eventually, I just gave up, and I regret what I did. I had sex with many boys in my year which essentially proved what everyone was saying. What I did also caused me to lose my only friend. He tried to talk me out of it, but we had an argument and never talked to each other after that. Even worse, this happened weeks before my exams so I did poorly on them.
I thought things would get better outside of high school, but I was wrong. I didn't want to go to university at the time so I just looked for a job. Everywhere I went, men just stared at me. During high school, male teachers would give me creepy looks. Even my own family, my step dad and uncles give me those looks. They try and be sneaky about it but it's extremely obvious when men look at me. I've been m****ted, sexually harassed and r**ed. Everything bad that has happened to me was because of the way I look. I wish that I was normal looking like everyone else. No one is sincere with me and everyone is fake. I feel that I'm getting punished for pushing away the one person that might have truly cared for me.
My second "boyfriend" is a piece of trash and I hate him because he ruined my life. He faked being nice just to have sex with me. He secretly recorded us having sex and because I wasn't a virgin, the next day he called me a slut and broke up with me. I only found out afterwards that he only had sex with me as a bet with his friends.
Of course it wasn't long before most of the people saw the video of me having sex. Everyone treated me as a slut. All of my fake "friends" distanced themselves from me. I only realized they were only friends with me in the first place because I was pretty, which made me popular. Those friends talked bad about me behind my back. I only had one person I could call a friend, and he was in the year below me. Of course he had heard the things about me, but he didn't really care. I couldn't spend much time with him however because he was in a different year and usually hung out with his group of friends which made him hard to approach.
I considered suicide a few times before, but it was nothing more than a passing thought. Instead, I crumbled and just gave in to being called a slut. Eventually, I just gave up, and I regret what I did. I had sex with many boys in my year which essentially proved what everyone was saying. What I did also caused me to lose my only friend. He tried to talk me out of it, but we had an argument and never talked to each other after that. Even worse, this happened weeks before my exams so I did poorly on them.
I thought things would get better outside of high school, but I was wrong. I didn't want to go to university at the time so I just looked for a job. Everywhere I went, men just stared at me. During high school, male teachers would give me creepy looks. Even my own family, my step dad and uncles give me those looks. They try and be sneaky about it but it's extremely obvious when men look at me. I've been m****ted, sexually harassed and r**ed. Everything bad that has happened to me was because of the way I look. I wish that I was normal looking like everyone else. No one is sincere with me and everyone is fake. I feel that I'm getting punished for pushing away the one person that might have truly cared for me.
