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- My Cheating Heart -
Straight Male / 37

What Should I Do ?

Okay so this is more of a question than a confession. I am married and love my wife, she is has some sort of problem and has no sex drive. Sex is painful to her. She does not even try to satisfy me or help me when I am horny. I do love her and that problem seems to be our only real problem. On the other hand there is a friend of mine who has admitted she wants to have sex with me. I am attracted to her but I dont want to risk my marriage. Give me your honest opinion on what you guys and girls would do and why.

5
# 46677 - by Captain69 / July 27, 2020
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Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 27, 2020 at 12:13 AM

Seems like the intelligent thing is to talk with your wife and tell her you feel you need an outlet for sex and that you don't want to hurt her or your marriage. Tell her you love her and want to stay together and that it's simply a natural desire on the part of a man to have sex.
It just might work if indeed this other woman is also strictly interested in having sex with you for your mutual pleasure and can separate any emotional component. If she can provide you with recreational sex and with no commitment or romance, then it seems like a fair thing to do.
Obviously your wife could say No, and at that point you might have to seek out a professional and pay for what you want every now and then, and presumably doing it without your wife's knowledge.
I honestly think if you're up front with her and make her see that you don't want to go behind her back, it's possible that she'll understand and concede to you having sex with this other woman.
One caution though - if the other woman is a friend or relative of your wife, it's less likely to work. Your wife needs it to be a stranger so she won't feel threatened or humiliated.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 27, 2020 at 4:54 AM

I'm in the exact same position. I've tried everything I can think of for years upon years, but my wife is just not into sex. I'm just about ready to go outside our marriage but I've told myself that I'd be up front about it as the first commenter recommended doing. I don't blame my wife for not having the same sex drive but I do blame her for not listening to my concerns or caring about my desires for so long. Putting aside that resentment to do what's right is certainly not easy. Still I love her and everything else about my marriage. I'm just not ready to give up sex and don't feel I should have to.

I feel your pain, it's a very difficult situation. Good luck and please update.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 27, 2020 at 1:18 PM

Like these two my wife keep me from sex for years, I finally stepped out for the easier man sex, didn’t feel like cheating ,just sex, got busted and our sex life got much better fir the last 5 years, not great but much better, we wasted so many great years,
I now have desire to have gay sex thanks to her, even though I wished I didn’t

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jul 28, 2020 at 9:11 AM

Two or three years ago I was going to set up a little threesome adventure and enjoy watching my wife suck off another man. We'd done it a couple of times before, not often, but it was good. While chatting with men online to find a good match, I'd say two out of three men reported similar situations, where they were still wanting and needing sex but the wives were "sexless" to use their terminology.
Before we met, my wife was rather orally promiscuous and used to suck off a handful of men. Most were married men who also said their wives had lost interest or were never really very interested in sex.
Over the years I've heard the same from a smaller number of wives, that they are struggling because hubby lost interest or was always busy.
A real pity that some couples have become incompatible in their desires.
Totally agree the best solution is to talk about it and be honest with each other. Sneaking around is not the best solution, but some folks may simply have no choice.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Jan 5, 2021 at 4:21 PM

I am in a similar situation. And one of my wife's friends keeps hitting on me. At least thats how i feel. But i am so scared to make a move just in case i am not reading it right and she might reach out to my wife. Also, she is a divorcee, so i am afrid that even if things work out she might get too attached.

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