There Should Be A Regret Category

I married my coworker after a two year affair that ended his marriage to his wife. She and he have three kids and after the divorce she rented a two bedroom apartment in a complex not far from my house. The divorce provides for him to have the kids three days a week and she has the rest of the week, and they trade off weekends. My house, which I inherited from my parents has four bedrooms and a pool. The kids are at home here and I am at home with them. I would rather a hundred times that they are here than at an apartment, they will home school with me this semester. I don't pretend that I didn't know about the baggage.

My husband and his wife are divorced but not unmarried. My husband hurts day and night because she is not with him. The children are here because of the apartment living, but his ex is in an apartment complex. I would like to convert the office den into a mother in law suite and convert the guest bathroom and laundry into an on suite. The third garage can be repurposed for the laundry, and guest bath and a small office for my husband. It will be later if and when we can update the kitchen and the master bath.

My instincts go one way, not to mention all my relatives and friends, but my feelings don't follow my instincts. I hate the apartment complex, she is there because of me. Her children are here with me, her ex wants her here with us, I cannot imagine how she can stand being abandoned. If is my fault, and his a bit, but my fault for having an affair with him. Preparing meals for her children is one of my high points in the day, when she is here we prepare the meal together and look after them. We put them to bed together, and then she has to leave and I hurt so bad.

I am so sorry that I brought this on her, all I can do now is work to correct it.