Straight Female / 48
Marriage Of Convenience
In my junior year of college my father died of a heart attack. He was a dentist, my mother a homemaker. I am the oldest of five girls, just turned 20 and I was not going to return to college after the funeral. Money just went away, the house mortgaged, the business sold for very little, after debts, the life insurance sounded like a lot, but one hundred thousand is not a lot.
An immigrant man I met when I went to work said I could marry him, he wanted a young wife so he could have children. He wasn't rich, but he made a decent living. Out of desperation I married him. I had to keep up my end of the bargain, children. I just could not do it. I was 21, he was 53, I could not lay down with him. I stood in front of the mirror looking at my 21 year old body, knowing his 53 year old body, I couldn't do it.
Divorce took years, he refused to cooperate, he insisted on children. I decided that the only way I would get the divorce was to have an affair, infidelity. I led a young man on, slept with him, allowed him to impregnate me. The blood test was definitive, my husband could not be the father, and of course I had never had intercourse with him. My divorce came through, I married the father of my child. From the frying pan into the fire.
I never loved him, he was a big talker and a poor provider, but I worked and stayed married, I got another child out of him before separating. I am still technically married, I see him for birthdays and holidays, I hear he had a girlfriend but if he did it didn't last. I devoted my time to my children, and my job. From time to time I have let a man visit me.
An immigrant man I met when I went to work said I could marry him, he wanted a young wife so he could have children. He wasn't rich, but he made a decent living. Out of desperation I married him. I had to keep up my end of the bargain, children. I just could not do it. I was 21, he was 53, I could not lay down with him. I stood in front of the mirror looking at my 21 year old body, knowing his 53 year old body, I couldn't do it.
Divorce took years, he refused to cooperate, he insisted on children. I decided that the only way I would get the divorce was to have an affair, infidelity. I led a young man on, slept with him, allowed him to impregnate me. The blood test was definitive, my husband could not be the father, and of course I had never had intercourse with him. My divorce came through, I married the father of my child. From the frying pan into the fire.
I never loved him, he was a big talker and a poor provider, but I worked and stayed married, I got another child out of him before separating. I am still technically married, I see him for birthdays and holidays, I hear he had a girlfriend but if he did it didn't last. I devoted my time to my children, and my job. From time to time I have let a man visit me.
