Not Feeling Guilty

I got pregnant and then married at 23 to a 47 year old man. I had number two back to back. For fifteen years sex was there, never exciting but sex twice a month. My husband is now 67, on a series of medications, total ED, he hasn't fucked me in seven years.

I met a handyman three years ago, he is no one you what to marry. He is rough and can get physical. I learned to avoid getting a black eye by getting on my knees and sucking his cock till he calms down. He is a beast, he tore me open and I needed two stitches in my ass, he fucks on impulse whether I'm ready or not. I spat on him once and I got slapped around.

I felt guilty of cheating on my husband, I don't any more, I hide my bruises, take what he dishes out on me, kneel and suck if he is in a bad mood, and if not I take it and keep my mouth shut. My husband is like an older brother, he provided me with a nice life, my kids are in a good college. I can't complain considering what triggered my marriage. If he discovers me he will through me out, but not seeing my lover boy is not an option.