Straight Female / 39
Asians See Things Differently
Four years ago in a far off foreign land my passport and money were stolen. A man who was behind me in line took over the conversation with the immigration officials and agreed to be my guarantor and put me on a plane the next day. He bought a bond as guarantee and took me to a hotel. That night he had me at his home for dinner, his family all spoke English and were polite and hospitable. The next day he put me on a plane back to the States.
Next trip he looked me up, had me fly to him. What he didn't do in the hotel that night he did with me then. I wasn't in a position to deny him, I won't say I complied, I just didn't refuse. The experience was interesting but not out of this world. I don't like to say I've had better, it was different.
It came to me that I was some sort of prize, a prize you just don't turn down. He was as obligated to have me as I was to surrender to him. We were both trapped by some unwritten rule of obligation. The second night involved a nice dinner, conversation about our backgrounds, our educations. What pedigree did I have? Was I quality enough to keep? Was I suitable as a side affair? Certainly his wife had met me, but for a 'concubine', was I suitable?
He decided that I would do. I was flown to Paris, I met him and his wife there. Our rooms were side by side with a door between them. He took the opportunity to visit me, to reengage with me. The next day I spent with his wife, she gave me my boundaries, very polite, very gentle, but a concubine, not a wife. Did I understand? Yes I did, my grandfather had a concubine.
As a second generation Korean American contemplating being a concubine surprised my close friends and family. But on a purely rational basis, a woman in her thirties has limited options, a concubine to a man of means was perhaps a good option, the best option. It has been a very good option.
Next trip he looked me up, had me fly to him. What he didn't do in the hotel that night he did with me then. I wasn't in a position to deny him, I won't say I complied, I just didn't refuse. The experience was interesting but not out of this world. I don't like to say I've had better, it was different.
It came to me that I was some sort of prize, a prize you just don't turn down. He was as obligated to have me as I was to surrender to him. We were both trapped by some unwritten rule of obligation. The second night involved a nice dinner, conversation about our backgrounds, our educations. What pedigree did I have? Was I quality enough to keep? Was I suitable as a side affair? Certainly his wife had met me, but for a 'concubine', was I suitable?
He decided that I would do. I was flown to Paris, I met him and his wife there. Our rooms were side by side with a door between them. He took the opportunity to visit me, to reengage with me. The next day I spent with his wife, she gave me my boundaries, very polite, very gentle, but a concubine, not a wife. Did I understand? Yes I did, my grandfather had a concubine.
As a second generation Korean American contemplating being a concubine surprised my close friends and family. But on a purely rational basis, a woman in her thirties has limited options, a concubine to a man of means was perhaps a good option, the best option. It has been a very good option.
- That's Juicy! 20
- Remove It! 3
