I Am A Sex Addict

I am a sex addict. I have used sexual pleasure as my go to , to deal with every and any problem. It started when I was around 6 and I was fucking every bit of furniture or object in site. I did the most obscene things that I feel ashamed of in a way but what could an alternative been? I had few tools or supporters at hand to show me a better way. Its ruined my life hiding this for so long. I have masturbated 21 times in a row in a hour. I have masturbated in bedrooms shared while others were a sleep. I have left classrooms to go clit finger fuck myself for half an hour. I have done it in public as well from a young age. But I can't show one person a sexy side of myself or trust because most times I think they are playing a game and trying to harm me. They don't make me feel secure to let go and trust. I rarely go to places to meet for sex. I have had sex but I know I have not had half the sex I should have by my age. I am so jealous of people who get sex partners so young. My mother would never allow me to get sex or be around the boys and men I liked. She cut me off at a time I needed love and understanding and some physical attention. I needed a cock and I still do. I have orgasmed standing up and sitting down. In weird places. I am now becoming a porn addict. I wish I could meet a nice guy who was perfect for me. He doesn't have to be perfect for everyone just me. I keep meeting strange men who are not right for me. does any one understand. No one shows me they are true quick enough. They are too slow to act with me. I give up too quick as well. Like I am the type deep down. "I need it now and I need it fast, so stop wasting time".