An Unusual Settlement

Last February, my marriage ended, though at the time I didn't know it. My wife of nearly 10 years, Maggie, started withholding sex from me, claiming she wasn't feeling well every time. To my credit, I tried to support her at first. But we started fighting about it, and by early April we were in a dead bedroom situation, and I resigned to a sexless fate. We both came from some pretty broken homes with infidelity, so agreed to keep trying therapy and even medical consultation. She was absolutely miserable, but at that time I didn't realize it.

Late April, Maggie's best friend Ashley comes to see us one night for a dinner. I do catering as a career so I'm always good to entertain friends, even when someone doesn't tell me they are coming so I can prepare a bit better and have decent wine in the house. Nonetheless, I make do (as usual). A good meal and some cheap table wine, and Ashley is telling us she has lost her job thanks to Coronavirus and isn't going to be able to make rent. Maggie tells her without missing a beat to move in with us and take our guest bedroom. Well I had been using that space to paint my minis for Warhammer, but okay - we'll help out her friend, of course. Also, yes I'm a huge dork - sit down.

Not a great start to all this, I hated Ashley for about a good month. And she knew it so she was trying extra hard to win me over. Ashley isn't bad looking - really dark hair worn loose and long, super pale skin, light blue eyes. She's chubby but not unattractive. Ashley started touching my arm when she spoke to me, helped me in the kitchen, my designated sous chef since Maggie never had an interest (Maggie hated taking orders from me), and lots of long talks over experimental wines.

At this point we are sitting in mid-July, and things are pretty good. Still no sex for me and Maggie, but with a new person in the house, at least there is someone to talk to - and a few of those conversations drifted into our marriage. I tried, really hard, to keep all that out of our talks but it was nice to have someone to talk to. I relocated for Maggie due to her job so I had to adjust while she had a social circle to support her, so having Ashley suddenly a torrent of blocked up social energy just came out of me. I know, not much of a confession yet and I'm getting emotional. We'll get there.

August, and one night Maggie and I are getting ready for bed. I turn off the lamp, and she says, just as we settle in, almost so quiet I don't hear it "I don't love you anymore. I'm sorry."

I'm in shock, and ask and ask if I did something wrong. She says no, and I ask if there is someone else. She says no to that as well. So what do we do, I finally say, still in the dark.

"I want a divorce," she says. "I'm going to see a lawyer this week."

I'm still not mad, but I'm starting to hurt more than a little bit. I start to get out of bed, I'm not planning to stay here tonight. "I want you to go fuck her," she says. I ask who.

"Ashley. She'll fuck you, she wants to. Go fuck her, stay with her tonight."

I ask if this is a joke. Maggie turns on the bedroom lamp and I see those calculating eyes. No joke, she says. She's good for you, and I want you to go fuck her.

"I'm scheduled to see a lawyer in two days. I do care about you, so take a head start with Ashley. I trust her, she's been a friend for a few years, and I know she will treat you right."

I didn't go fuck Ashley that night, instead I slept on the couch and cried all night. No shame, I was with Maggie for ten years and there were feelings there.

It took me a couple of days, but I did eventually go visit Ashley in her room. If folks want to hear about that, I'll share it (going on a bit long as is). Ashley is definitely a giver.

The main point of this story is how my now ex-wife gave me a pretty solid assist in finding someone else after we split. Weird, but thanks I guess. Thanks to all of you who might read this, it's good to get some of it out.