Life Is Very Complicated For Me Right Now

I work for a large company and my team was having an after work birthday party for one of the girls in our team and I had agreed to go. I got caught with some extra work and I was late. On the elevator, on another floor this girl got on and we said hello and she asked if I had plans and I told her and she told me that those parties were not for good girls. That only bad girls went to those.

When we got to the first floor and were walking to exit the building she asked if it wouldn't be better if I passed on the party, if I wanted we could go get something to eat at this restaurant near by. She introduced herself, she worked in HR, she was single and obviously didn't have anything for Friday night. She refused to come to the party and guilted me into going to dinner with her.

We talked a lot, and after dinner she told me she lived in a high rise about two blocks away and I should come over. She had picked me up and at her apartment she got me into bed with her and after holding hands for thirty minutes she suggested we make love. And just like that I spent the night with her.

The next day she asked me to go with her to see her daughter who lived with her sister and brother in law. The girl was four and she was excited to see her mom and we spent lunch there. On the way out her sister pulled me aside and asked me not to break her heart.

I had a boyfriend, pretty serious, he wasn't amused by me spending the weekend with her. He insisted on me breaking it off. I couldn't and didn't so my three year relationship with him ended. After we got told to stay in I moved in with her and when my lease expired I let it lapse. We have her daughter for weekends, sometimes we go out to pick her up and sometimes her brother in law drops her off.

I feel at times that sex is not complete, I miss having my boyfriend cum in me. I miss it a lot. He is not interested in sharing a relationship, he wants a formal commitment and me to agree to start a family with him. I find myself laying beside her and telling her that I love her although I don't know how I really feel. I have not been able to do more than see my boyfriend during the day and escape to his apartment to have sex. My girlfriend does not want me sleeping with her when I am full of cum, so we sleep back to back. Since I started living with her I have not missed a night with her, anything with my boyfriend is during the day but I am at home for the night.

I have asked her to give in, understand that I need to have sex with my boyfriend, I need it badly and she should not give me the shoulder when I seen him. I want her to eat me when I come home from seeing him, I have this impulse to have her eat me with his cum in me. It's stupid I know but I really want her to do it, not that she will.

When her daughter is around we are very careful and respectful, my boyfriend is very nice to her and he is respectful not to show undo affection to me and lets her mother and I be affectionate. This situation has made things more difficult, we are working from home, I go into the office once very two weeks to have a meeting with my team in a large conference room. It is on those days that I see my boyfriend at his apartment.

What else can I say, it is complicated.