Had A Problem

When I was kid, about 12,13, I was put in therapy because I was obsessed with everything sex which is odd for a kid that young. The reason was because my parents had found papers in a journal I had where I wrote sex stories. I dont know, I just liked writing about sex. I would write about having sex with people I knew. People I saw. My teachers. I got really good at being super detailed. Like I would write about all the positions and how we would orgasm. I would sometimes draw naked people in this journal. I had this journal hidden behind my desk in my room until they found it and were completely shocked. So I went to this "sex therapist" weekly who was trying to understand why I did this. If your asking, no I don't think something happened to me as a child. I think one day, I discovered sex and what it was all about...and I liked it. I started to experiment with myself and the things I could do with myself and I started writing my own stories and fantasies. So I started seeing this sex therapist named Breanne. Mid 30s. Okay body. Eventually I even started writing about her so obviously it wasn't working. She asked me to try and write about love versus sex. I was like...nah. I like sex. She would read the things I wrote in my journal and sometimes discover she was in them. I wonder if it ever crossed her mind, to try something with me. I wonder if she ever saw the image of me and her together as she read my stuff. Often times while in therapy, I would get super horny while she was reading my stuff because I knew I had purposely wrote in there, things about her. Sometimes while in therapy, I would sneak my hand under the desk and play with my thing. Then she would say, "hands on the desk" because she knew what I was doing. Often times I was so horny that I managed to cum before the end of the session. She knew. She knew I had orgasmed while in therapy almost every week. I actually looked forward to going because I would get riskier every time. Sometimes I would pull it out under the desk and just let it chill outside my pants while she was talking. One time I was touching myself in therapy and she said, "hands on the desk" and I brought them up and you could see precum strands on my hands. Glistening precum. Then I would have to go back down to put it back in my underwear and she would be like, "hands up top!". I wanted her to look sometimes and see it. I always dreamt she would tell me to come over and she would suck it or come under the desk. At the end of the session, I would get up and you could see the stain or my hard on still. Eventually I convinced them that I stopped and was better. I am a normal 30 year old now working a lame job with a nice girlfriend. But sometimes I wish I could go back to those days.