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Women Only
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Straight Female / 48
It's Our Burden, Being A Woman
I met him on campus. He was smarter than anyone I had ever met. I was a 4.0 student, but not like him. At a party he saw me there and took me back to my dorm. He didn't want me at parties like that. One night he decided that my time had come, I was 20 and it was time for me to 'become a woman'. That meant I was 'his' woman. He meant it too.
I had to grow up fast, he was so much more mature than me. I learned he was a man with a past. A secret past. He was almost ten years older than me. He wouldn't talk about those years. What had to be done was done. And for that he needed me to be a woman. It was too much for me, I wasn't old enough.
The more he had me as his woman the more I became 'his' woman. Like sailing quietly in the fog, until you belong to him completely. You say 'yes', before you realize what he had said. I was so young, 20 is really young.
It was many years later, I had two children, we were at a swim meet. A man walked up, a thin tall man, he said 'Captain' and reached out with his hand. My husband said 'my name is Joel'. "Yes Captain, I know'. They shook hands and the man left. I have lived with him for 28 years, I still don't know what had to be done that got done. Men don't talk, even when you beg them to let their woman help with the night sweats, the night walking, the silence. Sometimes being a woman is hard. Last night was hard. The shaking, the breathing, the smell of his sweat.
I had to grow up fast, he was so much more mature than me. I learned he was a man with a past. A secret past. He was almost ten years older than me. He wouldn't talk about those years. What had to be done was done. And for that he needed me to be a woman. It was too much for me, I wasn't old enough.
The more he had me as his woman the more I became 'his' woman. Like sailing quietly in the fog, until you belong to him completely. You say 'yes', before you realize what he had said. I was so young, 20 is really young.
It was many years later, I had two children, we were at a swim meet. A man walked up, a thin tall man, he said 'Captain' and reached out with his hand. My husband said 'my name is Joel'. "Yes Captain, I know'. They shook hands and the man left. I have lived with him for 28 years, I still don't know what had to be done that got done. Men don't talk, even when you beg them to let their woman help with the night sweats, the night walking, the silence. Sometimes being a woman is hard. Last night was hard. The shaking, the breathing, the smell of his sweat.
