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Women Only
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Straight Female / 26
I Had A Quick Liason And I'm Trying To Live With The Consequences
Feeling thankful tonight for my life but so guilty. I'm watching my husband wrap the last of the Christmas presents for our two sons, a 4 year old and 1 year old. My husband knows he's not the biological father of our youngest son, yet he's forgiven me and seems to have made peace with it. Maybe I'd feel better if he hadn't been such a saint about it.
My husband was injured in a car wreck and was off work for a couple months. He fully recovered, thank God, but during that time we weren't able to have sex. While he was recovering, I worked as a sales rep. I was so stressed I stopped at a bar for a drink, which was unusual for me. A business traveler, probably from the U.K by his accent, flirted with me and we had a quickie. I never saw him again and don't know anything about him. It was crazy and dangerous, but above that, just wrong. I'd never cheated on my husband before. Yeah, I'd daydream about some guy that'd catch my eye, but I love my husband, and I never thought I'd give in to my urges like that. I should have realized I was ovulating. I don't know why I didn't take Plan B afterward. I'm pro choice politically, but I couldn't bring myself to terminate. I really thought I knew myself. Obviously I don't. One deception on top of another.
When I missed my period and found out I was pregnant, I thought long and hard before I told my husband. There was no reason to think the baby would look very different from either of us. But there might be DNA tests for medical reasons someday, and then what. Besides, I couldn't have lived with the guilt (I can't live with it now). I psyched myself up and told him. He was angry and upset, naturally. I cried, and so did he. A few days later, he sat me down and told me he still loved me, and that he knew I had been deprived because he was injured, which made me feel even worse. He doesn't treat me any differently, and he treats our youngest son no differently than our older one. I should be grateful and happy beyond words for a man like him and, I am. But the guilt still eats me up.
My husband was injured in a car wreck and was off work for a couple months. He fully recovered, thank God, but during that time we weren't able to have sex. While he was recovering, I worked as a sales rep. I was so stressed I stopped at a bar for a drink, which was unusual for me. A business traveler, probably from the U.K by his accent, flirted with me and we had a quickie. I never saw him again and don't know anything about him. It was crazy and dangerous, but above that, just wrong. I'd never cheated on my husband before. Yeah, I'd daydream about some guy that'd catch my eye, but I love my husband, and I never thought I'd give in to my urges like that. I should have realized I was ovulating. I don't know why I didn't take Plan B afterward. I'm pro choice politically, but I couldn't bring myself to terminate. I really thought I knew myself. Obviously I don't. One deception on top of another.
When I missed my period and found out I was pregnant, I thought long and hard before I told my husband. There was no reason to think the baby would look very different from either of us. But there might be DNA tests for medical reasons someday, and then what. Besides, I couldn't have lived with the guilt (I can't live with it now). I psyched myself up and told him. He was angry and upset, naturally. I cried, and so did he. A few days later, he sat me down and told me he still loved me, and that he knew I had been deprived because he was injured, which made me feel even worse. He doesn't treat me any differently, and he treats our youngest son no differently than our older one. I should be grateful and happy beyond words for a man like him and, I am. But the guilt still eats me up.
