Faggotry In Motion: Introduction

I haved always known I was different. I think part of it is because we moved around so much I never was able to bond with anyone. By the time we settled into a permanent home, I was very lonely and wanting a friend but incapable of the social skills to make one. I did hang out occasionally with the neighborhood kids from time to time, just living on the block gave me a membership, but it was mostly awkward and, looking back, a little cringeworthy.

I did a lot of weird things, at least weird at the time, things I couldn't stop doing no matter how many times I realized it was cringeable. Like when the guys wanted to play football or something. I never participated on any of the teams and instead would make myself their cheerleadr-waterboy. I know they all thought it was because I was overweight and not athletic but really it was because got a certain satisfaction doing things for them. Whenever any of the guys wanted another beer, or a napkin or anything (I was even known to make sandwiches) , I was always ready and eager to get it for them. They all joked about it but it wasn't in a malicious way. Even so I was still just outside the conversation and social interaction of the group.

This was going on as I started becoming interested in sex, around the age of 10. I would sit around and listen to the older boys talk about their sexual adventures, rapt with every detail. I didn't realize it right away but it didn;t take long before I began to realize my different way of thinking put a twist to the way I imagined their encounters. I saw that the other boys all listened with the point of view from the teller's side while my interest was from the girl's perspective. I didn't know why only that it wasn't the way boys were supposed to think.

One night I was in bed late at night and remembering the latest sex story I'd heard earlier that night and got my first erection. I was excited and intrigued, I locked my bedroom door and took off my pyjamas then laid down on my bed, back propped up with pillows to explore this new function. The first thing that got my attention was how much bigger my penis was when it was erect. Normally it's just a little stubby thing, a pink head crowned with a ring of foreskin, but now it was four times bigger. I got up and dug through my desk drawers, finding my ruler. Laying back down I stood my erection up and put the ruler alongside it... 5"!!!!

In the dim light of my reading lamp I ran my fingers over my swollen cock, amazed. It wasn't just the size it was also that it looked completely different, my little button mushroom penis was a thick fatheaded meatpole. Desperately holding back my giggles of joy, I caressed and stroked my rock hard cock, kneaded my balls which seemed to have swollen to twice their size, making myself squirm in pleasure before suddenly there was a sporadic burst of intense pleasure and I was left gasping and exhausted.

I was confused once I had gotten clarity, I had felt the spasming in my cock and balls but nothing had come out like I thought was supposed to. I thought I had done something wrong and decided that I would try and figure it out the next morning. It was Saturday so I didn;t have school and my parents would both be at work before I got up, so I would have plenty of time to get it right.

The next morning I woke up naked and sporting serious morning wood, my first! This was something I hadn't been aware of but was glad for. I wasted no time in having some self pleasure, but this time I was more focused on what I was doing. I had noticed the night before that my skin had been a little more sensitive than usual but the pleasure from stroking my cock had overshadowed it.

I decided to explore this and spent sometime running my hands over every inch of my soft pudgy body. It didn't take long to find my 'special spots, the places I liked to be touched. I discovered pleasure having my beefy buttcheeks squeezed and slapped, my tight little pink asshole rubbed, and my belly kneaded. The only thing I wasn't sure about was my nipples. They had stiffened and were extra sensitive to the touch and the sensation was a strange mix of pleasure and not pleasure. I can't describe it any better.

I tried to find the best way to pleasure myself by stroking and eventually changed my hand position, using a backward grip. At first I giggled, thinking this was what it would feel like to stroke another boy's cock, thinking it silly. But then it wasn't so silly, thinking about doing that suddenly made the pleasure I was giving myself seem even more enjoyable than it already was. As soon as the image fleshed out in my mind I felt that explosive surge of pleasure and the spasming swell of my cock. When it was over I was disappointed that for the second time there was nothing, it was another 'dry' cum.

I wasn't about to give up and felt it was only a matter of time. I had the day to myself and to give me a break I walked down to the corner store and bought some snacks and a soda, my go-to comfort food. As I was walking home I pasted a neighbor's house and saw that a dog had knocked over their trashcan. I stopped to clean it up and in the process discovered a stack of about 6 old dirty magazines. They looked like they had been in a dusty garage for ages, and the date on one of them said 1987 to prove it. Looking around I stuffed them in my snack bag and hurried home.

Once in my bedroom again I dumped out my bag and spread the magazines out on my bed. Several were called 'Hustler' and had pictures of girls with their legs spread. I was intrigued and spent some time perusing each magazine but it wasn't until I went back to re-examine one that I took notice of the ads in the back pages. While the magazine itself was filled with naked girls and all it was the little thumbnail pics with ads for porn movies for sale.

At first this was only mildly interesting but then I turned one page and the first ad I saw had a thumbnail of two naked guys having anal sex. This blew my mind, not because it was sick or gross or anything like that, it was because it meant that guys did do stuff together and that I wasn't that odd. I tore through every ad section off each magazine, in the end cutting them out and putting them in one of the albums my mom kept in the hall closet.

I could hardly contain myself looking at those pictures of guys doing all kinds of sex stuff to each other. It was way better than anything to do with girls, at least for me. With less than two hours before my parents would be getting home I masturbated to my new pictures and this time when my pleasure peaked huge gobby streams of pearly white sperm shot out of my penis and coated the pages I was looking at. I looked at it with joy and then, without a second thought I swooped down and licked up a huge glob of it.

I don't know why I did it but I was glad I did. The taste was salty and tangy and really yummy, I got down and eagerly licked the clear plastic sheets clean then pulled on my softening dick to squeeze out every last drop. With the taste of semen in my mouth I lay there, breathing hard, my mind awhirl with the possibilities. I thought about my eagerness to do things for the other boys and realized right then and there what my real motivations were. There was no turning back, my path was decided.

I became infatuated with homosexuality. Even though I knew how it was despised and reviled by 'normal' people, especially my group of friends, I couldn't help the way I was and immediately began to affect what to me were homosexual mannerisms. I acted less masculine, more effeminate without being too over the top. I got a special thrill by making a point of always checking out guy's crotches, especially the bulgy ones every chance I got. I decided that if I was attracted to homosexuality then I would be a homosexual.

And that will hopefully explain something about my mindset.

With the social distancing and all, I have decided to write a series here, as regularly as possibly about my homosexual experiences... Starting with 'Faggotry in Motion: Part One'