Deceived Her On The Most Important Thing

I do feel guilty about this, but not enough, so I guess I'm really fucked up. This woman didn't do a thing to me. I did it because I enjoyed the sex.

Eight years ago, I was recently divorced when I met this elegant blonde. She was 38, but looked ten years younger, and had an incredible body. I hadn't had any in a while and I was determined to get this woman in bed. She was ten years older than me, financially secure with a good career and didn't seem to be interested in marriage. Great, I thought, she's just looking for fun.

We made love a few times with a condom, and I got sort of addicted. The sexual chemistry was great. One day she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. Her biological clock was ticking and she wanted a baby. She wanted me to be the bio father. She said I'd have no financial obligations, and I wouldn't have to be involved in the child's life. I agreed. We both had STD tests, and started having a lot of unprotected sex.

Here's the thing. I'd had a vasectomy a few years before. My ex and I had two kids. After the divorce I moved about 70 miles away, close enough to still visit my kids pretty often.

I had told this woman I had kids, but I never told her I had a vasectomy. I said sure, I'd be honored to help her out. I was so addicted to her, I figured we could keep fucking a long time if she thought she could get pregnant by me. She bought all kinds of fertility monitors and we fucked every time her fertile cycle came around, month after month after month. Needless to say, she didn't get pregnant. She became distressed and upset. She went to the doctor to find out if there was some reason she couldn't get pregnant, and the doctor said no, there was no reason she couldn't, but it'd be best if she hurried, because fertility starts dropping as a woman ages. She wanted me to get tested too, but I kept putting it off, saying I was pretty sure I had no problems. I was still young after all and I had fathered two kids.

I guess she really wanted a baby from me because we kept trying for over a year. At that point, I'd had all I wanted and was ready to move on. I said I was sorry, but maybe she better try with someone else. We kept in touch by email, but she never got pregnant. She even tried in vitro, but she miscarried. Menopause came earlier than she expected. She finally adopted, but I know she really wanted a bio child of her own. I know she was fertile when I was with her, at least she had regular periods anyway, so I assume she was. If that's so, she probably lost her chance to have a baby because of me. But sex with her was too good. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth. I'll carry this to my grave.