My Lifelong Search Bay Be Bearing Fruit

As noted I am 58. I have been a quiet, participant in homosexual behavior since I was 12 when my neighbor got me to suck his cock. He was 14 at the time and it happened in the garden shed of our house during the summer. I didn't know it then, but he was an Alpha and sucking his cock was never going to be enough and by the end of the summer he was fucking me on a regular basis. I loved it, I wanted it, I asked him for it. Until one afternoon after school we were in his room reading comic books and he got on my back and he was dry humping me when his mother opened the door and caught us.

He being the aggressor was sent to psychiatrist and me being the recipient I was sent to a phycologist. We were not allowed to see each other, my parents were very protective after that, and when he and his family moved everyone slept better. But not me. I missed him. I found things around the house and used them, I tried various things to help penetration settling on my mother's hand cream. My favorite article was a large kitchen spool with a round handle.

Along in high school I got along well with my music teacher, I do have musical talent and it soon became a sexual thing, like my neighbor he was a wolf in sheep clothing, an Alpha and once he found that I liked being his boy he fucked me often and hard. I loved it and our little school affair lasted until I graduated and went off to college. In college I met and had a series of encounters with mostly athletes, until I met a man who was an adjunct professor for the college Liberal Arts. Again, a closet Alpha, hard hitting, rough and full of vigor. By then I knew I was made for that. He was the first man I kissed with passion, he was the first man I really fell in love with.

But age creeps up on you and you have to move on, through work years, growing more and more sure of myself I had several affairs with men I met along the way, but never developed the passion for them that I had felt in college. I can't really say I was active, these affairs came around from time to time, punctuated by long periods of abstinence. A French man, a retired pastor, a one night stand with a man I met on a plane. I felt the desire and I suppose you communicate it and they made the advance.

I am not retired, rather I am between jobs. My company where I have worked for 30 years has furloughed a large group of us, we have insurance but otherwise we are on our own. I have been helping out with a friend's business without pay. And it is now that I have met a man, he works for a vendor of my friend's business. He is an Engineer by trade, salesman by profession. An Alpha's Alpha. He specifically does not like younger men, he is in his sixties and very active. With him I have again found passion, kissing him, feeling his body all over me, giving him my body, having him take me with such passion, just laying beside him after sex and being able to play with his cock, kiss his cock, caress his cock.

I don't want to say that I have finally found love. But I hope I have. I have wanted to feel like this all my life.