Facing My Biological Imperative

I am 33, a lesbian. I am full breasted, wide hips, a baby making body. I have a symmetrical face, clear blue eyes, I wear my hair long. And therein is my problem. For several years now I feel urges, strong urges to fulfill my biological imperative. Baby fever is not strong enough, it's an overwhelming feeling. With each period I feel loss, deep, inconsolable loss. Words are wasted, I'm 33. Yes, being a lesbian is an inconvenience that I have to overcome. I'm built, from the day I was born, to join all the sisters and bear fruit, I've wasted all these years arguing against myself because I'm a lesbian, that excuse is hollow. My 2021 resolution is that I will create and bear a child, this year. The man, the father, will have a lesbian mother for his child. I will do my best not to let lesbian interfere with my duties. I will be a full time mother, not a lesbian, that's my promise to him.