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When I Was A Kid
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Gender Neutral / 23
What Am I?
I was the youngest of six kids and the only boy. I was the late surprise. The day I was born I had sisters who were 10, 13, 15, 19 and 23 years old. My parents had given up hope that they would have any boys. My Dad had wanted a son desperately but kept having girls instead. Then I came along. We only had three bedrooms and my sisters didn't think it was fair for three of them to be in one and I would get the other bedroom. My oldest sister had already graduated from college when I was born and by my earliest memory was an established school teacher in an all girl's private school. My next sister was in her second year of college and then I had one in high school, one in middle school and one in the 4th grade. So anyways my parents compromised and painted one part of one wall in one of the bedrooms blue, kept the rest pink and yellow and I shared that room with my youngest sister.
When I was five my Dad passed away unexpectedly from a short illness that seemed like nothing at first then he went to the hospital and two days later he was dead. It was at that point that the blue wall was painted over in pink again. Only two sisters were still at home and both of them were in high school and shared a bedroom so it was odd to me that instead of re painting my room completely in blue my mom repainted it in pink.
A few months later it was time for me to go to kindergarten. I didn't go to preschool since my two oldest sisters were by then both teachers at the same private girl's school and my middle sister was going to college to become a teacher. And my Mom had been a teacher before she met my Dad. Basically I had my own private school with a fantastic student-teacher ratio.
So Kindergarten was my first exposure to any real school though by then I could read story books and do 2nd grade arithmetic.
Now I am skipping over what you probably came her to read in the first place. I was born with an odd medical condition that affects a surprising number of people. I have what is sometimes called ambiguous genitals. Another word for it is intersex and sometimes the word hermaphrodite is used though none is really adequate. I was born with an extremely tiny penis with my pee hole under it instead of at the end and my scrotal sack is fairly small and empty with a deep cleft making it look as though I had female genitals. But I had undescended testicles and no ovaries and when they did a dna test they found I had a y and x chromosome. That made me a boy technically. As of the age of five I thought that was that, I was a boy. But after my Dad died Mom sat me down to have a serious talk with me. All five of my sisters where there as well and everyone except me was wearing a skimpy two piece bikini bathing suit. I was in my pajamas.
Up to that point mom and my sisters had taken turns bathing me. They were thorough. In other words they all washed my genitals as well and were extremely gentle there. As I got older they took turns gently explaining how important it was to clean every nook and cranny and would have me practice then they would inspect my work to make sure I did a good job cleaning myself. Not one of them ever said anything or gave the slightest hint that what I had wasn't what all the other boys had. I had up to that point never seen any other boy naked or even a photo of same. My youngest sister took out her laptop and clicked on a file and opened up a photo of the genitals of a normal 5 year old boy. I asked what I was looking at as I had never seen it before. She didn't tell me it was of a boy. Then she showed me a photo of a normal 5 year old girl's genitals and again didn't tell me they belonged to a girl. Neither were identical to what had. They asked me to guess which one mine were the closest to. I chose the girl's genitals. My mom took a deep breath. I knew she was about to tell me something serious but was at a loss.
"You're what is known as intersex. It means that even though technically you are a boy, naked you look more like a girl. The bad news is you probably won't get to be a Dad. The good news is that you get to choose if you want to be a boy or a girl since you will almost certainly grow breasts when you get older and between the legs you will probably look like a girl. But you can have surgery and hormones to be more like a boy if you want. You don't have to decide now. You don't have to tell your friends (they were both girls) if you don't want to. We thought that when you go to the first grade you could go to the school for girls that your sister teaches at. We can get a really good discount on tuition since you have two sisters teaching there and probably a third sister will teach there when she graduates. you would have to wear girls clothes and you already have long hair so what do you think?"
I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. Though it did explain whey they dressed me up in girl's costumes the previous three Halloweens and why they didn't thin much of having me sleep in the same room as my sisters. It wasn't until I was well into adulthood that Mom revealed to me that my Dad had already decided I would have surgery to descend my testicles and close the cleft in my scrotum and to draw out my penis to make it more obvious and that I would take testosterone for life and whatever else it took for me to grow up to be a normal hairy masculine muscle bound stud.
When you are a gender ambiguous 5 year old without a Dad surrounded by seven women who were all obviously hoping you wanted to be sister number seven it is really hard to disappoint them. I can't believe I actually suggested a compromise. I suggested I go to school for the first grade as a girl then try it as a boy at another school for a year. They agreed.
So I kept growing my hair long and my sisters taught me everything I needed to know to talk walk act look and be a girl. I already knew most of it since I was raised by seven females with no male influence.
Second grade I went to a public school as a boy who just happened to have pierced ears and long hair and was very effeminate.
Third grade I returned to the private girl's school already having completed all the third and fourth grade coursework as I was advanced due to being constantly surrounded by teachers. I actually enjoyed being both male and female though I'd have preferred to have had the choice of going everywhere switching back and forth at will and having everyone accept me.
In fourth grade I was back at the public school as a boy again but just before Halloween in science class my teacher brought up the topic of hermaphrodites in reference to certain species mostly invertebrates. But when one of my classmates asked if there were human hermaphrodites and the teacher said no it was impossible I stood up and corrected him. A few kids giggled and one boy announced that I was in fact a hermaphrodite. Now I had never told anyone about my medical condition. It was expected that I would keep it a secret and I understood why and agreed with the reason. But this boy had more or less guessed correctly and outed me to my teacher and the whole class. There was a lot of whispering and I stood my ground and insisted there there were in fact human hermaphrodites. He insisted I was wrong and I was tempted to drop my drawers right there but I knew I would get into trouble if I did so I told him I would prove it to him after class. When the bell rang I went to his desk and told him to follow me to the closet and I would show him proof. Now as a ten year old child I did not quite grasp the implications of a teacher and a naked student being alone in a closet together. The moment we were in the closet alone I quickly yanked down my pants and showed him the proof. He quickly walked out of the closet and I yanked back up my pants just in time for the next batch of students to come in for their science class. I stormed out of the classroom angry that he did not immediately concede his point.
The next day in science class the teacher got up in front of the entire class and apologized to me and said he was mistaken and that there were in fact human hermaphrodites though they were not precisely the same as hermaphrodites of other species but neglected to go into details. It was enough for me. But from that day forward many of my classmates referred to me as a hermaphrodite. Since I considered it my correct gender identification I didn't feel insulted and in fact preferred it.
On my 11th birthday early in the morning we had another family meeting where my gender was the topic of discussion. They told me I could choose between delaying puberty or I could choose to go on female hormones and enter female puberty as close as I could get or I could go down the male road and become as masculine as I wanted to. What I said shocked them all . I said I wanted to be a girl AND I wanted children and wanted to know if there was any way that would happen.
I had one possible choice. They took me to a doctor a few weeks later and they decided I would try to develop as a boy up to the point where I would produce sperm then reverse course before I was fully developed and take female hormones. At the age of 13 I was just barely able to produce enough sperm to reproduce if done using in vitro methods. They froze the samples I produced over the next few weeks then took me off male hormones and put me on a course of female hormones. By 15 I could wear a C-cup, my voice never broke, my hair went crazy long, my skin got soft, I interrupted beard growth and electrolysis eliminated the few whiskers that grew. I grew mostly female curves and I went full on all out girl mode. It helped that I was already very girly and effeminate with strong encouragement from my sisters and enthusiastic blessings of my Mom.
Today I have two wonderful kids and an even more wonderful husband.
When I was five my Dad passed away unexpectedly from a short illness that seemed like nothing at first then he went to the hospital and two days later he was dead. It was at that point that the blue wall was painted over in pink again. Only two sisters were still at home and both of them were in high school and shared a bedroom so it was odd to me that instead of re painting my room completely in blue my mom repainted it in pink.
A few months later it was time for me to go to kindergarten. I didn't go to preschool since my two oldest sisters were by then both teachers at the same private girl's school and my middle sister was going to college to become a teacher. And my Mom had been a teacher before she met my Dad. Basically I had my own private school with a fantastic student-teacher ratio.
So Kindergarten was my first exposure to any real school though by then I could read story books and do 2nd grade arithmetic.
Now I am skipping over what you probably came her to read in the first place. I was born with an odd medical condition that affects a surprising number of people. I have what is sometimes called ambiguous genitals. Another word for it is intersex and sometimes the word hermaphrodite is used though none is really adequate. I was born with an extremely tiny penis with my pee hole under it instead of at the end and my scrotal sack is fairly small and empty with a deep cleft making it look as though I had female genitals. But I had undescended testicles and no ovaries and when they did a dna test they found I had a y and x chromosome. That made me a boy technically. As of the age of five I thought that was that, I was a boy. But after my Dad died Mom sat me down to have a serious talk with me. All five of my sisters where there as well and everyone except me was wearing a skimpy two piece bikini bathing suit. I was in my pajamas.
Up to that point mom and my sisters had taken turns bathing me. They were thorough. In other words they all washed my genitals as well and were extremely gentle there. As I got older they took turns gently explaining how important it was to clean every nook and cranny and would have me practice then they would inspect my work to make sure I did a good job cleaning myself. Not one of them ever said anything or gave the slightest hint that what I had wasn't what all the other boys had. I had up to that point never seen any other boy naked or even a photo of same. My youngest sister took out her laptop and clicked on a file and opened up a photo of the genitals of a normal 5 year old boy. I asked what I was looking at as I had never seen it before. She didn't tell me it was of a boy. Then she showed me a photo of a normal 5 year old girl's genitals and again didn't tell me they belonged to a girl. Neither were identical to what had. They asked me to guess which one mine were the closest to. I chose the girl's genitals. My mom took a deep breath. I knew she was about to tell me something serious but was at a loss.
"You're what is known as intersex. It means that even though technically you are a boy, naked you look more like a girl. The bad news is you probably won't get to be a Dad. The good news is that you get to choose if you want to be a boy or a girl since you will almost certainly grow breasts when you get older and between the legs you will probably look like a girl. But you can have surgery and hormones to be more like a boy if you want. You don't have to decide now. You don't have to tell your friends (they were both girls) if you don't want to. We thought that when you go to the first grade you could go to the school for girls that your sister teaches at. We can get a really good discount on tuition since you have two sisters teaching there and probably a third sister will teach there when she graduates. you would have to wear girls clothes and you already have long hair so what do you think?"
I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. Though it did explain whey they dressed me up in girl's costumes the previous three Halloweens and why they didn't thin much of having me sleep in the same room as my sisters. It wasn't until I was well into adulthood that Mom revealed to me that my Dad had already decided I would have surgery to descend my testicles and close the cleft in my scrotum and to draw out my penis to make it more obvious and that I would take testosterone for life and whatever else it took for me to grow up to be a normal hairy masculine muscle bound stud.
When you are a gender ambiguous 5 year old without a Dad surrounded by seven women who were all obviously hoping you wanted to be sister number seven it is really hard to disappoint them. I can't believe I actually suggested a compromise. I suggested I go to school for the first grade as a girl then try it as a boy at another school for a year. They agreed.
So I kept growing my hair long and my sisters taught me everything I needed to know to talk walk act look and be a girl. I already knew most of it since I was raised by seven females with no male influence.
Second grade I went to a public school as a boy who just happened to have pierced ears and long hair and was very effeminate.
Third grade I returned to the private girl's school already having completed all the third and fourth grade coursework as I was advanced due to being constantly surrounded by teachers. I actually enjoyed being both male and female though I'd have preferred to have had the choice of going everywhere switching back and forth at will and having everyone accept me.
In fourth grade I was back at the public school as a boy again but just before Halloween in science class my teacher brought up the topic of hermaphrodites in reference to certain species mostly invertebrates. But when one of my classmates asked if there were human hermaphrodites and the teacher said no it was impossible I stood up and corrected him. A few kids giggled and one boy announced that I was in fact a hermaphrodite. Now I had never told anyone about my medical condition. It was expected that I would keep it a secret and I understood why and agreed with the reason. But this boy had more or less guessed correctly and outed me to my teacher and the whole class. There was a lot of whispering and I stood my ground and insisted there there were in fact human hermaphrodites. He insisted I was wrong and I was tempted to drop my drawers right there but I knew I would get into trouble if I did so I told him I would prove it to him after class. When the bell rang I went to his desk and told him to follow me to the closet and I would show him proof. Now as a ten year old child I did not quite grasp the implications of a teacher and a naked student being alone in a closet together. The moment we were in the closet alone I quickly yanked down my pants and showed him the proof. He quickly walked out of the closet and I yanked back up my pants just in time for the next batch of students to come in for their science class. I stormed out of the classroom angry that he did not immediately concede his point.
The next day in science class the teacher got up in front of the entire class and apologized to me and said he was mistaken and that there were in fact human hermaphrodites though they were not precisely the same as hermaphrodites of other species but neglected to go into details. It was enough for me. But from that day forward many of my classmates referred to me as a hermaphrodite. Since I considered it my correct gender identification I didn't feel insulted and in fact preferred it.
On my 11th birthday early in the morning we had another family meeting where my gender was the topic of discussion. They told me I could choose between delaying puberty or I could choose to go on female hormones and enter female puberty as close as I could get or I could go down the male road and become as masculine as I wanted to. What I said shocked them all . I said I wanted to be a girl AND I wanted children and wanted to know if there was any way that would happen.
I had one possible choice. They took me to a doctor a few weeks later and they decided I would try to develop as a boy up to the point where I would produce sperm then reverse course before I was fully developed and take female hormones. At the age of 13 I was just barely able to produce enough sperm to reproduce if done using in vitro methods. They froze the samples I produced over the next few weeks then took me off male hormones and put me on a course of female hormones. By 15 I could wear a C-cup, my voice never broke, my hair went crazy long, my skin got soft, I interrupted beard growth and electrolysis eliminated the few whiskers that grew. I grew mostly female curves and I went full on all out girl mode. It helped that I was already very girly and effeminate with strong encouragement from my sisters and enthusiastic blessings of my Mom.
Today I have two wonderful kids and an even more wonderful husband.
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