Not Out, But Living Our Lives

Four years ago I eloped and got married in Las Vegas. The marriage was a secret from everyone in our families, but my mother and sister. The reason it was a secret is that we are a same sex couple. We grew up together in Rhode Island, Catholics, our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, cousins are all either cops or firemen. Daughters, wives, grandmothers, sisters, are all mothers, wives, girlfriends. Lots of children, we grew up to get married and have children. And live next door. Best friends aren't supposed to be together like that. That's why we eloped.

I work for a large national bank and an opening, but not a promotion, came up in Texas and we moved for my job. Two months later my wife joined me. To let you know how it is. First my older brother came to check up on me. Then my father and uncle came to take me home. When my wife followed me my mother and older sister came to find out what was going on. That's when we came out, and told them we were married. No one else, even after four years, officially knows we are a couple and we are married.

We both have a child now. A friend we know is the father. My daughter turns one next month, her son turns one in June. I work at the bank, once we opened again. My wife works in supply chain and works from home. We don't really live in the gay world at all. We live in a two bedroom townhouse. We live together, we are not outwardly obvious. We do share a bedroom and the children have the nursery.

People add or subtract, that's their business. And when daddy comes to visit our neighbors see him come and go. Because of Covid our parents know their grandkids by facetime or zoom. We don't get challenged by our families, except for the odd comment here or there. The babies have softened our families a lot. Traditionally you don't talk about things, for example no one talks about our cousin who is in prison.