Straight Female / 27
I Think I Might Be The Perfect Submissive.
I got married at 19 to a wonderful guy. While we were dating he was passionate and matched my high libido as we both fumbled our way through our sexual awakenings. He's only 6 years older than me. Then as soon as we got married, everything seemed to shut down for him. We've been married for 8 years and we only have sex once a month. I have been wilting sexually and have been frustrated this whole time, but I love him and wouldn't even consider cheating to satisfy my needs. He's my soulmate emotionally, but not sexually.
That doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. Secretly.
I read trashy smut and use my vibrators almost daily. Anything to temper my libido. I quickly gravitated toward stories about men, real men, who know how to please their women. I drool over stories about lovers who take the lead and are dominant. Not really BDSM, but just like alpha male in the bedroom kind of guy. There's just something so hot about a guy who (can last more than two minutes) knows what he's doing and does it well. I like to get caught up in the sensations of sex and let my lover have his way with me. Which is never what I actually get with my husband, but he loves my acting.
Then a few months ago, he surprised me with a dildo. It's not even like a huge one, but its definitely bigger than him. I think it was his way of trying to actually get me somewhere in the bedroom. He wields it like a awkward vegetable, but I let him have his fun. Alone though, it's my best friend.
There's something inside my head that clicks when I first put it in and start to pick up the pace. It's like I'm outside my body and let it go on autopilot. I can feel how much my whole being is ready to please my lover. And if my lover would praise me and guide me, there's no telling how far I'd let him go. It's not even a real dick attached to a real man, but my body sings with every thrust, "I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours!" I've never had kids so my pussy feels so tight around that pink shaft. It's like an instinctual, chemical compulsion when I'm getting fucked by it. I completely, absolutely, and totally submit to my imaginary lover. I imagine him gripping me wherever he likes and showing my body how to move, how to get the perfect angle for our combined pleasure. Then he pins me in place and ferociously takes what he wants. I imagine hair pulling, grabbing my throat, spanking and soothing. God, it's everything I want. I want a lover who is possessive about my body and selfishly worships it. I want to feel desired and that I'm exactly what he needs to be satisfied.
I think I'm hard-wired to be submissive in bed. My favorite thing about watching porn is listening a guy who mumbles encouragement through sex as he plays he woman like a virtuoso musician.
And I'll never get to be that instrument. I'm a gleaming, primed Fazioli sitting behind a glass wall and stuck with a lover who owns me but can't find middle C. It's sad, but it's my lot in life.
It's fun to wonder what I could do with the right partner.
That doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. Secretly.
I read trashy smut and use my vibrators almost daily. Anything to temper my libido. I quickly gravitated toward stories about men, real men, who know how to please their women. I drool over stories about lovers who take the lead and are dominant. Not really BDSM, but just like alpha male in the bedroom kind of guy. There's just something so hot about a guy who (can last more than two minutes) knows what he's doing and does it well. I like to get caught up in the sensations of sex and let my lover have his way with me. Which is never what I actually get with my husband, but he loves my acting.
Then a few months ago, he surprised me with a dildo. It's not even like a huge one, but its definitely bigger than him. I think it was his way of trying to actually get me somewhere in the bedroom. He wields it like a awkward vegetable, but I let him have his fun. Alone though, it's my best friend.
There's something inside my head that clicks when I first put it in and start to pick up the pace. It's like I'm outside my body and let it go on autopilot. I can feel how much my whole being is ready to please my lover. And if my lover would praise me and guide me, there's no telling how far I'd let him go. It's not even a real dick attached to a real man, but my body sings with every thrust, "I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours!" I've never had kids so my pussy feels so tight around that pink shaft. It's like an instinctual, chemical compulsion when I'm getting fucked by it. I completely, absolutely, and totally submit to my imaginary lover. I imagine him gripping me wherever he likes and showing my body how to move, how to get the perfect angle for our combined pleasure. Then he pins me in place and ferociously takes what he wants. I imagine hair pulling, grabbing my throat, spanking and soothing. God, it's everything I want. I want a lover who is possessive about my body and selfishly worships it. I want to feel desired and that I'm exactly what he needs to be satisfied.
I think I'm hard-wired to be submissive in bed. My favorite thing about watching porn is listening a guy who mumbles encouragement through sex as he plays he woman like a virtuoso musician.
And I'll never get to be that instrument. I'm a gleaming, primed Fazioli sitting behind a glass wall and stuck with a lover who owns me but can't find middle C. It's sad, but it's my lot in life.
It's fun to wonder what I could do with the right partner.
