Oops, I Cheated Again And Now He Wants Me To
Feeling low, I'd start dating any guy that wanted me back. When a married coworker started hitting on me I hit on him right back. I'm not sure how or why but I started messing around with several coworkers, single and married. Sex was getting better but my spirit was really depressed and self destructive.
Through a friend I met a nice guy. He was instantly really attracted to me. I liked him back but when he made his move, I was too sore from my last sex, so I stopped that part. He took it as that I was a virgin. I wasn't but I didn't want to ruin his sweet thoughts of me. We started dating more. I was still having sex with my coworkers and sometimes with my ex. Anyways, the nice guy surprised me by proposing to me. I accepted.
I meant to stop all the side sex and be true to my fiancé, but somehow all the guys wanted sex more often and the sex got more fun for me. When more guys hit on me I let them and I was having more sex while engaged then before. I knew I should feel terrible, but for the first time, I was feeling guilt free after sex and I had never felt that way before.
I cut everyone off a month before my wedding so I could feel tighter for my husband. We had a great wedding and honeymoon. We came home and I was ready to be normal and monogamous. That didn't last long. First they married guys at work got to me. I was able to keep it limited to them for a while but eventually I was with most of the guys I was with before our wedding.
I knew what I was doing was wrong but I just couldn't say 'No' to the guys. I was very relieved when my husband got a job out of town and I had an excuse to cut them all off and move with him. I have not always been perfect but I'm still in love with my husband.
My new problem is my husband has gotten into the 'hotwife' and 'cuckold' porn stuff. He wants us to try that. I'm afraid to go back down that road again or him finding out about my past but I feel like I owe him. I'm not sure what to do
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