Who Am I?

I work for a small company. The owner is a refugee from Cuba. He knows what I talk about and how the communist are now in charge.

I have my share of sex issues, half and half. I like being sexual with women, but my age or younger. I don't like older women. I like being the young girl for an older man. Like 20 or 30 years older. I have a girlfriend, we met at a concert. I'm the girlfriend of the son of the owner of the business where I work. Everyone is Hispanic. He had me get married to my girlfriend and has lawyers working on my papers.

When I'm under my male lover I imagine myself as the prey of a lion. When I'm together with my girlfriend I imagine us as playful kittens. If he wants to be with us we say no. I'm too young to have this sexual confusion, what am I? Now that I'm married everyone thinks of me as a lesbian. They don't know who my real lover is.

I have been accepted to a small private Christian college. I'm not a very good Christian half woman lover half man lover, adulterer to my wife, an adulterer with my lover to his wife. I haven't been to church since I started having regular sex with my wife. It feels wrong but it's not. When I sleep with her I know I belong with her. When I have sex with him I know I can't escape being an animal.