Not As Gay As I Thougth

A few years ago when I was twenty-four, I had a gay affair with an older man who was fifty-six and divorced.
We became friends and he talked me into messing around with him. I had never done anything like that with another guy before, and I was surprised how excitingly male it was. I became quite clavier about it and thoroughly enjoyed being sexual with him. We would give each other blow jobs and often he would lie on the bed and I would ride him and fuck him that way. I really loved how it felt having him being male in me like that.
Our affair lasted for a little over a year and then he had to move away because of work. I really missed the male-companionship and sex. Then I had a chance to try that with another guy my own age, and it wasn’t at all the same or as good and I didn’t enjoy it at all. If anything, I felt awkward doing that with him. This convinced me that I really wasn’t gay.